Hilarious Texts and Tales of Star Wars

The Kenobi Haters Club

*Maul has invited Grevious, Cad Bane, Vader, Ventress, and Pre Visla to the Kenobi haters chat*

Maul: You are probably all wondering why, I have invited you to this chat. It is because we have one common enemy, a man whom we hate even more than wearing wet socks and shoes: Kenobi.

Ventress: The chat name was prettyyy self-explanatory

Pre Visla: Any evil being trying to make their way in the galaxy would hate that Jedi

Cad Bane: No kidding. Once, I was just tryn' to steal every last burger from Space McDonalds when Kenobi comes in. He orders a coffee, then arrests me. Sucker.

Grevious: Ha! That is nothing. He had stolen my precious Segway from me more times that I can-

Ventress: Would you shut up about your segway? It's long gone dude

Grevious: But not in my heart-

Maul: Silence! This chat is about Kenobi! Not segways!

Pre Visla: I'm leaving. Sure, I hate Obi Wan's guts for stealing my skateboard and doing some sick moves,  but I'm not a psychopath obsessed with him

Maul: What? Were not psychopaths obsessed with Kenobi!

Darth Vader: Kenobi?!?!? Kenobi!??!?! Where?????? Did you see him??????

Ventress: ....

Cad Bane: He was last seen buying a million year supply of tea on Tatooine. Dudes got a problem with tea

Grevious: That will be his undoing! Hahaha- -cough- -cough-

Ventress: You need some tea yourself weirdo

Darth Vader: I have been plotting my revenge on Obi Wan for years...

Maul: As have I! And he will pay!!!

Ventress: You say that every day on your Twitter account, yet in the end Obi Wan is always alive and drinking tea 🙄

Maul: Which shall soon change!

Cad Bane: He's too slick. Once, I teamed up with this guy, Rako Hardeen, to steal all of the Jedi's robes and put kick me signs on the back of their shirts.

Ventress: Why?

Cad Bane: Its very entertaining. And Count Dooku was going to pay me 5 grand if I could do it.

Grevious: What happened?

Cad Bane: Turned out, the guy I had teamed up with, Rako Hardeen, was Kenobi.

Ventress:

Maul:

Grevious:

Vader: No way

Cad Bane: Yep. In the end, he put a kick me sign on the back of my shirt. I've never felt so betrayed

Ventress: Reminds me of the time I played Uno with Kenobi

Grevious: You played cards with the enemy?