Hilarious Texts and Tales of Star Wars

It's Icing!

Hardcase: It's icing! 

Jesse: Cake??? Where???

Fives: No! He means outside.

Jesse: There's cake outside?

Echo: I think they mean the sleet

Tup: What is that?

Rex: It's like rain, but ice instead

Fives: I can't wait to play out in it! 

Kix: Ohoho, no. You'll break your leg

Rex: Kix is right. It's an absolute hazard. No one should be out walking or driving in this weather

Suddenly there is a loud crash from outside

Jesse: What was that?

Dogma: Who the freak just crashed into the garage?

Anakin: Hey guys! 

Rex: Of course. General Skywalker

Anakin: Brutal weather out there, am I right?

Ahsoka: We crashed three times and slid in ten full circles. I don't know why I let Skyguy drive me around in his van while there's ice everywhere.

Anakin: It was a dire emergency.

Rex: What is it sir? Is General Grevious back with the segway?

Anakin: No. We were out of orange juice, so we had to go to the store

Ahsoka: Now that I think about it, it really wasn't an emergency

Rex: Ah. 

Ahsoka: It's super slippery out there

Hardcase: Let me see! 

Rex: Hardcase-

Hardcase: Ahhh!!!!

Hardcase trips down the stairs

Fives: Imagine sledding in this weather....

Rex: Don't get any ideas

Echo: According to the weather report, it's supposed to sleet all night. 

Rex: You better not go out on the road again General

Anakin: Ah, come on Rex, I won't get hurt. I'm the best starfighter pilot in the galaxy

Rex: Your vehicles say otherwise....

Ahsoka: Lol

Jesse: So what can we do while it rains ice outside? I'm bored! 

Tup: Wanna play go Mon Calamri with cards?

Fives: You can't. I flushed them down the toilet

Rex: Why??? 

Fives: I was bored. And I wondered what would happen

Hardcase: The toilet came alive! It's throwing up water all over the floor! 

Rex: -sighs- 

Suddenly there is a horrific sound

Ahsoka: What is that???

Anakin: Oh, my new ringtone. You like it?

Dogma: What...is that sound...General?

Anakin: The screams of a thousand rubber chickens as slaughter them. 

Ahsoka: ....

Rex: I'm not even surprised, at this point. 

Ahsoka: Who's calling? 

Rex: Hopefully not the police...

Anakin: It's Obi Wan! Which means there's only one of two possibilities