love foolish | (m.sn x reader)

rule #9

/ sana

"y/n?.. y/n? she fell asleep.."

i got up for a moment to grab us some coffee from the libary's cafe and was only gone for about 15 minutes or so, and to my surprise the booknerd had already fallen asleep.

i smiled.. genuinely this time.

y/n has really soft features and she's really pretty. kids might even mistake her for some kind of fairy or princess.
i sat beside her as she softly snored, not caring if we got caught. i just tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.. and suddenly realized that this was becoming a habit of mine.

y/n-ah, if only romance was real, i would have been begging to marry you.

i pat her head and stared adoringly at the girl. i've never been this thrilled to be with a girl, maybe because it was all the same repeated method before. the girl naturally gives in, we flirt, i spoil the girl, the girl falls in love and i end up leaving them. it was always like that. always.

but right now, i'm in a different situation and i kind of like it. y/n doesn't follow the repeating method and i only find the things she likes as boring but not her in actuality.

hm, i guess i was just being overdramatic.

"unnie.." she murmured, nuzzling against my hand that rested on her head. another smile formed on my face. ah, i've seen so many cute sides of y/n today. i've seen her act like a kid, get teased and embarassed, and now even doze off? this is so different from the quiet and aloof y/n i usually see at school. i guess the rumors about her aren't true and those are just impressions of her.

.. what the hell sana? why are you suddenly talking like this?

i looked away and withdrew my hand once again. no way am i actually having this much pleasant thoughts about a person, maybe i'm just overwhelmed by how different she is. yeah. that's it. oh and she's pretty, that's all. nothing else and nothing more and what do you mean thrilled? aish, sana you're getting yourself confused. you're just experiencing something new. you're not excited.

remember, this is all just a game. y/n's supposed to fall in love with you and not the other way around. damn it.

"hngh.. no, go away" i was startled as y/n started to whimper and her face looked like she was in distress. was she having a nightmare? i immediately shook her body, trying to wake her up. "y/n-ah, you're having a bad dream.. wake up" i called out to her, being as quiet and gentle as i could be but loud enough to wake her. up. "y/n-ah, please wake up" i shook her body again.

"u-unnie.."

her eyes shot open and she hugged me, startling me even more. i just pat her back and ran my hands through her hair, still not sure what to do about the situation. "there, there y/n-ah. sana is right here" i said, hoping to soothe her a little but she stopped sobbing and pulled away with a flustered expression. "s-sana, forget what you saw.. i just had a bad dream" she had a very upset tone which honestly affected me too. it somehow made me feel upset as well. she was about to raise her arm to wipe her tears with her sleeve but i grabbed her handkerchief from her pocket and used it to wipe her tears. "mou, y/n-ah. i can't just forget that, you were crying. wanna talk about it?" i asked and remembered the coffee, right! maybe this'll cheer her up?

"here, have some. i bought some earlier remember?" i said, grabbing her cup and offering it to her. the now gloomy y/n accepted it with a smile but frowned once again. shit am i being a bad date? this isn't good, i'm not supposed to make my date frown right? i frantically looked around, looking for something to cheer her up with.

"sana.." i looked at her as soon as she called out my name. "what is it? do you want.. to.. y/n?" my sentence trailed off as y/n leaned her head on my shoulder while i was speaking.

- my heart started pacing. it was the first time y/n took the initiative to be close like this.

"sana.. why can't people just take love sincerely? wouldn't it have been easier that way? no one would get hurt and.." her voice went more quiet with each word and then finally remained silent before speaking with such a bitter tone. "forget it. you wouldn't understand"

.. hearing that, i suddenly felt a little pain. was.. this the feeling of rejection?

"hey, y/n-ah. you can tell me and i'll try to understand for you" i said, feeling disheartened at her mood right now. what did she dream about? "forget it, sana. you don't take out girls to love them, right? you take them out for repuation, for boasting, for whatever reason. you never take these seriously, why would i expect for you to understand?" her tone definitely shattered my heart. i couldn't deny it. i was hurt.

this was the first time i was hurt by the truth.

she's right. definitely right. am i finally feeling guilty? is this remorse? but this isn't the first time someone ever told me that. even my friends point out that i could never understand the concept of love and i usually just play it off.

but when y/n says it.. i feel hurt.

i can't play this one off and i don't know how to cheer her up. suddenly, i felt useless. think, sana, think.

i kissed her forehead and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

"hush, y/n. sana's right here" was all i could say. y/n just kept silent and let out a heavy breath. what could she have dreamt of? why is she so affected by it?

.. and why do i even care? damn it. i only care because this is our date. our day together. yeah. i just don't want to see her upset because we're supposed to be happy today. this is only for the day. right. shit.

i looked at the girl leaning on my shoulder and the heavy feeling wouldn't go away. ah, i can't deny it.
i'm worried about y/n. i don't want to see her like this.