She's Mine

Chapter 22 - Alessandra

I was not in the best place after the incident.

My mind was filled with awful memories as my PTSD went wild.

All I could picture was my father and his friends when I was younger, having the same intentions as these men. No matter my age, I could not fight it. Every moment replayed in my mind. Every horrendous thought went through my head. Thought of how I should have fought back, what I could have done to protect myself and how I could have stood my ground instead of freezing.

My mind was all over the place bouncing from the most recent incident to all the past times I had been in the same exact situation. I could not get a grasp on my emotions I felt everything yet nothing all at the same time.

I was going in and out of sleep waking up from nightmare after nightmare, but for some reason, I did not have the energy to stay awake. This was unusual for me. I have had many episodes in my past but nothing like this time. I would usually break out of episodes faster and they did not affect me as long. But no matter what happened I always had drastic mood changes. I would go from the worst episode and depressive era to completely manic. There was no warning I would just randomly break out of it and It would all be forgotten.

My guess is that my body adapted to constant episodes as they were pretty regular for me but after not having one for a few years my body is not prepared or expecting it and it's shutting down.

..

Every time I had a nightmare I woke up to Aaron, he is there for me every time, to comfort me when I'm hysterical, to pull me from my terrifying thoughts, to remind me where I am and that I'm safe. He stays with me till I fall asleep again wrapping his arms around me stroking the hair whispering that is safe and no one is going to hurt me.

What the actual fuck is happening. Like I'm a bad bitch I should be able to pull my shit together.

Aaron reminded me every moment I was awake that he was sorry for what happened. Constantly apologized for something that he had no control over and I knew that.

I never blamed him I knew it wasn't his fault but I was so confused I wanted so badly to know more, to understand what happened, who were those men and how did they know each other.

I don't remember much that happened while I was in and out of it, but I do know that my mind was awake but my body was not in control causing me to do the most random things like attempting to take a shower. I got up while Aaron was asleep next to me and made my way to the shower just sitting against the shower wall fully clothes in burning hot water. I felt nothing and everything at the same time. I vaguely remember Aaron rushing in turning off the water and holding me in his arms carefully drying me with a towel before I fell asleep again. 

I have no idea how long I was in bed but eventually, I woke up one day on my own and actually sat up. Aaron had left a note and a glass of water and a pill on the nightstand instructing me to eat and drink it. I obliged trying for once not to be a pain after he did take care of me during my entire mental breakdown. I had no energy to actually move so I got a book and started to read.

..

Almost 3 hours later Aaron walked into my room. His eyes lit up at the sight of me up and awake. It was actually so cute. He was all sweaty and looked hot asf.

Yeah, Alessandra not really the time after having a multiple-day mental breakdown.

He immediately came to my side sitting beside my legs and placing his hand on my thigh.

"lovely to see you awake darling, how are you feeling"

"I'm fine, you?" I mutter putting my book down.

"your always fine darling how are you really"

"I'm alright" I respond rolling my eyes, looking back down at my book. I realize I should not give him an attitude after he looked after me but it just makes me happy.

He turns my head so that my eyes meet his.

"I know, that you know, not to roll your eyes at me" he pauses and I'm gulp "Come on let's get you up"

"nooooo I'm comfy," I say lazily falling back on the bed and laying down.

"you have been in and out of sleep in a depressive state for 4 days, you need to eat and move a bit"

Annoyed by his blunt response I cross my arms and pout.

"get your bipolar ass up now" he warns half joking half dead serious.

Aaron gets up pulling the covers and blankets off me, holding out his hand to assist me to stand up. I take it hesitantly looking up at him for reassurance. He provides it by lifting me up and wrapping an arm around my waist to make sure my weak-ass legs don't cause me to come crashing to the floor.

He helps me down the stairs and seats me at the counter. I watch him closely amused by his care and smooth movements as he moves about the kitchen making his breakfast. He hands me a hot cup of tea with another pill. Allowing all my attitude to return, I refuse the pill

"what even is this?" I question

"it's a pill darling, don't question just take it" He answers not deviating his attention from cooking for a second, almost as if he had expected this question

"no. I want to know what it is" I retaliate

That caused him to turn around and meet me face to face. I try to look down but I can't take my eyes away from his. My heart beats faster than it has in the last week.

"What did I say, love. Take it now" standing right in front of me waiting

I look at it carefully and decide against taking it. I keep my eyes on him trying to read him. This is a man of many secrets.

He comes closer to me and I lean back slightly out of instinct "I will force you to take it either way. So you can do it this way, the easy way or I have other not-so-pleasant ways to get it in your system that I'm sure you would be very fond of" he smirks threatening me

And with that I down the pill in a second.

Not satisfied he grabs my chin aggressively "open" he instructs. I obey immediately I'm not sure why but that was very scary. He looks around my mouth seeing that I actually did swallow it and let's go gently caressing my cheek "good girl" he say before returning to his cooking.

My heart leaps.

What. The. Fuck. Is. Wrong. With. Me.

Aaron made me a big breakfast I looked at the plate and it made me feel sick. I had eaten in a while and I knew this was not going to stay down. Aaron sits next to me with a plate of his own, but he watched me very carefully giving me his full attention.

Would now be a good time to mention I hate attention of any kind?

I pushed my plate away.

He pushed it back "eat" he demanded

"I'm not hungry" I push back

"you need some food after not eating for so long" he eyes me carefully

" but-"

"no argument eat Alessandra"

"Please, I can't" I beg allowing myself to be vulnerable.

His gaze softens and he pulls my chair closer to his. Tears fill my eyes.

"just eat a bit please, I need you to get your energy back I can't see you like that again my love"