Return (Snape x Male Reader)

xviii

3rd pov

after the little fiasco in the library, y/n found himself a book and retreated back to his room to read it. he didn't get too far into it before he fell asleep, book still open and resting on his stomach, hands still cradling it. he'd put on music to listen to in the background, classical muggle pieces filling the room with a calming vibe.

***

severus had let himself into the room, stopping when he saw y/n asleep. he stood there for a moment, watching the rise and fall of y/n's chest. he then stepped up to the bed and reached for the book.

y/n's eyes snapped open and he grabbed severus's wrist in a tight grip, fear clouding his gaze. severus, shocked at the speed at which y/n moved, just stared back wide-eyed.

y/n let go of severus almost immediately and moved to cover his face with his hands. "i'm sorry," he said, voice muffled behind his palms, eyes squeezed shut as he tried to push down rising memories.

"it is entirely my fault, i shouldn't have snuck up on you," severus said, reaching out but hesitating to touch y/n, unknowing of whether or not y/n would be comfortable with that. he pulled his hand back.

y/n breathing was heavy and his eyes finally opened, but they were unfocused and glazed over.

"y/n?" severus asked, beginning to worry.

y/n flinched at the voice, the trembling of his body becoming apparent to severus.

"no, no, no," y/n repeated, head shaking frantically, "not real— it's not real."

y/n was hyperventilating, seemingly frozen in fear and as he trembled and mumbled. it dawned on severus that y/n was experiencing a flashback.

"y/n," severus spoke again, his tone calm and soft despite that panic rising up his throat, "it's me, severus."

y/n lower lip trembled as he began to speak, "severus," he breathed.

"yes, it's me, it's severus. it's not real, what you're seeing is not real. you're safe with me, y/n. you're safe at hogwarts, wherever you think you are isn't real," severus said, sitting on the edge of the bed but making sure he didn't touch y/n.

"it's not real, i'm at hogwarts and it's not real," y/n repeated, looking around the room as he tried to ground himself. his breathing was ragged but calming down, and his gaze finally landed on severus and stayed there.

"severus," y/n said, lifting his hand towards severus. severus looked between y/n and his hand before slowly lifting his own to hold onto y/n's. when their hands clasped together, y/n pulled severus forward and into his arms, coiling them around severus's body tightly.

severus stayed as still as possible as y/n inhaled deeply and sighed, finally able to control his breathing. severus could feel y/n's lips graze his neck and he gulped.

"i'm sorry," y/n whispered, hands tightening their grip on severus's clothing, "i'm so sorry."

"you have nothing to be sorry for, my love," severus said, scooting down so he was face to face with y/n.

he feathered kisses on y/n's cheek and nose, feeling y/n further relax below him. y/n sighed, hands wrapping around severus's torso and gripping the fabric of his robes. severus trailed down further and gently nipped at the skin of y/n's throat, causing him to gasp and reach and up to dig into severus's hair.

severus lifted his head and stared at y/n for a moment. "you are just the most beautiful thing," he said.

y/n smiled and lifted his head to lock his lips with severus's, humming into the kiss and parting his lips. severus slid his tongue into y/n's mouth, licking past his teeth and feeling the roof of his mouth. y/n shivered at the touch, his hand gripping severus's hair a bit tighter.

severus took that as encouragement and pushed his tongue further into y/n's mouth, his hands finding themselves on y/n's hips, hiking his shirt up a bit and exposing the skin. y/n pulled out of the kiss, panting.

"severus?" y/n said, his voice a bit tighter, like he was nervous.

severus yanked himself from his clouded state at the tone and gave y/n his full attention. y/n looked away from severus's gaze.

"i don't want to take this all the way..." y/n trailed off, his cheeks growing hot, "not yet at least. i really like you, but i can't— not right now when i'm still—"

"y/n," severus said softly, stopping y/n from freaking himself out with his hypotheticals.

"yes?" y/n replied, swallowing nervously.

"i won't ever force you or expect you to push yourself when you can't. don't ever think that i'll be upset with you for it," severus reassured, leaning down to feather his lips across his cheek. "if it's ever too much, you tell me and i'll stop."

y/n sighed in relief. his hand releasing severus's hair to come around and cup his cheek instead. "thank you, severus."

"no need to thank me, darling," severus said. "what are you comfortable with right now?"

"i can keep kissing, i just don't want my skin to be exposed— and touching my torso and hips..." y/n squirmed to pull his shirt back down, covering the exposed skin of his stomach, "...i just can't right now."

"of course," severus reassured, his hands coming up to rest at the sides of y/n's head. y/n's entire body relaxed and he released a sigh.

severus gently recaptured his lips, soft as can be.

after way too much kissing and smiles and breathless laughs, y/n and severus fell asleep in each other's arms. they spent the entire evening in bed together, showing up late to the dining hall, garnering suspicious stares from students and colleagues. y/n made eye contact with draco malfoy, whose gaze was fiery and mischievous.

y/n stuck his tongue out at malfoy, causing severus to roll his eyes.

"you're acting like an 11 year old," severus said.

"i will win this war by whatever means necessary," y/n replied, never breaking eye contact with malfoy, who was making the ugliest face he possibly could just to taunt y/n.

y/n held his wand hidden under the table, and flicked it upwards. the beans on draco's plate began bubbling, and draco looked away from y/n to frown at them. a particularly large bubble in the beans popped, spraying draco's face.

y/n held back a snicker and tucked his wand away when dumbledore turned to look at him. y/n smiled back innocently, waving a gloved hand towards the bearded wizard.

severus rolled his eyes again.

mb for taking so long to update... i just did not like this chapter very well