XXVI. Door Open

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"Luna... Is there something going on between you guys?" My dad, who had not talked up until that moment if not for saying hi, asked me that question out of the blue, leaving me speechless.
He was sitting at the lunch table, watching the news on our small i-wall, and kept watching even while asking the question.
"Dad! What are you talking about? You know he is like a brother to me!" I answered, appalled by his insinuation.
"I'm just saying, you're old enough to know how to behave... We like Taehyung and we trust him, he's always been respectful towards you and our family, so you don't need to hide it... Nothing is going to change... Well, we probably won't let you close the door when he's in your room anymore, but apart from that..."
"Dad, seriously, that's gross! Stop! Don't say anything like that when he's here, please!" I begged him.

I saw Tae as my actual brother, so his words were really grossing me out. Although it was understandable, given the fact that I said I had slept at his house. It was definitely suspicious, because usually he's the one who stays the night at my house whenever we forget to watch the clock and my parents tell him it's too late for him to drive home. We rarely hang out at his place, because he doesn't really like staying there, given the situation with his parents, and my mom and dad know all about it, so right now they were probably imagining we decided to go to his house because his parents weren't there and we could be alone to do God knows what.
I wanted to set the record straight, but to do that I had to tell them the truth and I wasn't ready, so for the time being I let them think whatever they wanted, however, I made my dad swear on his life that he wasn't going to mention something like that in front of Tae. After he had agreed, I went back to my room.

Fifteen minutes later, I heard the doorbell.
I ran up to the door and once I opened it, I saw Tae's face. He had that look that he has when he's waiting for me to explain myself, but we had to get through lunch first. So he came in and greeted my parents as usual. They thanked him for coming and for dropping me off earlier. Luckily there was no weird comment from my dad and we spent the lunch eating and commenting about the news.
"Okay, we'll go to my room..." I announced once we had finished eating.
My dad looked at me and mouthed something like 'keep the door open'. I rolled my eyes at him and ignored him. The door had to stay closed while I was talking to Tae, they couldn't hear what I was going to say.

"You have five minutes to explain everything, starting now!" He said assertively, but in a whisper so that my parents in the other room wouldn't hear us.
"Okay, look, the thing is... I'm not really sure what's happening either, but... Well, he said he liked me and we kissed... This is the short version, since apparently you're in a rush to-" His eyes went wide and he didn't let me finish the sentence.
"Wait, wait, what?! So he says he likes you and you kiss him? Seriously?" His tone of voice started to become louder because of the shock and he probably didn't even realize it, so I shushed him before he could get any louder.
"Tae, I know what this sounds like, but trust me, it's not like that. You had to be there to know that he was not saying it just to get something out of me. It's difficult to explain, but I don't think he was lying."

A few seconds passed and he was being quiet, it seemed like he was trying to wrap his head around the whole thing while making an effort to understand how I went from wanting to get rid of my crush for Jungkook to kissing him.
"Wait, but we talked about it... You said this thing you have for him is not good for you, what happened to that?" He questioned.
"Well, that was because I was sure he didn't like me back... This is different..." I explained, still in disbelief about what I was saying.
"How is it any different? Doesn't he still make you anxious whenever you're around him?"
"No, not anymore... He started acting differently, he's... nicer now..." I managed to say, still feeling my cheeks turn a slight shade of red.
"Oh God, who am I even talking to? Okay, okay, I know how it feels... I mean, I don't actually know because I was never in love with someone, but I can imagine... It's probably something like when I kept watching 'Hunting Robots' even though the plot sucked, only because Christine Lisel was in it... So I can empathize with you, but still... If you think about it logically, do you really believe you can trust him, considering his past and everything?"

His little monologue made me doubt for a second. He had a point, I couldn't just follow my heart and trust my feelings. I needed to try and look at the situation from the outside. If I was in Tae's shoes, I probably would've had the same reaction and given my friend the same advice. Even though Jungkook swore that he liked me all along and that everything that happened was simply because of that and because he thought I didn't like him back, I couldn't be sure of that.
Seeing me being silent for a while, he spoke up again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a Debbie Downer... I'm just worried, you know I hate it when I see you in pain and I'm afraid that that's exactly where this thing with Jeon is going... But I would respect your decision either way and I will always be there for you..."
Moved by his words, I hugged him. I felt like I needed to cry, not for any specific reason, just to let go of all this conflicting emotions growing inside me. His long arms wrapped my entire body so that his hands could squeeze my opposite shoulders. I always felt safe in his arms, because I knew he was there to stay and nothing was ever going to drive us away. I didn't know if I could say the same thing about Jungkook. Was I ever going to feel safe with him? Or was I always going to believe that we weren't made for each other and that someday our story was going to end?
A few tears escaped my control and rolled down my cheeks, but I was hoping he wasn't going to notice. After a few minutes of us just standing still in that position, he talked again, without breaking the hug.

"I promise I'll try my best to not be annoyed by his very existence, in case you decide you want to be with him".
His sarcasm made me laugh instantly. I could always count on my best friend to turn my frown upside down.
I broke the hug and wiped my tears trying to not make it noticeable.
"Sounds like a deal", I answered, happy and relieved by the fact that I would get his support either way.
After that, we just spent the rest of the afternoon talking, he wanted all the details about the night before and that morning, so I told him everything, keeping some things out because I was embarrassed. He laughed a few times at my awkwardness, he frowned and pretended to throw up at the cheesy parts and was shocked by my behavior when I was drunk.
"Yeah, he seems genuine from how you described it..." He concluded after my long story-telling moment. "I don't know, I guess we'll see".
I could read a glimpse of hope in his eyes. Even though he didn't like Jungkook one bit, he was still hoping this was going to work out simply for the sake of my happiness. If that's not the true definition of a best friend, I don't know what is.

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