XXXIX. Our Deal

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"Hey Rosalind, what is it?"
"You have a text message from Tae. Do you want me to read it?" My dear AI, Rosalind, replied and I looked at Jungkook to see his reaction. He smiled and nodded.
"Should've guessed it. It's after Rosalind Franklin, right?" He asked and I should've timed my answer a little bit better, because when I said yes, Rosalind was still listening.
"Tae says: 'So, have you told Jeon yet?'. Do you want to reply to the message?"
My eyes went wide. That morning I had texted Tae to inform him on my decision. He seemed a bit worried at first, but then he had told me to do whatever felt right, I just didn't imagine he would've checked in so soon. Why did it have to be right then and there?

Jungkook's smile faded and was replaced by a confused look.
"What...", he started to say, sounding unsure on how to continue. "What is that about? There's something you haven't told me?" He looked visibly anxious and I couldn't tell what he was already picturing but it didn't seem good.
"I... yeah, I wanted to... I was going to tell you... It's nothing bad, really, I just wanted to get it off my chest", I tried to reassure him but I didn't look so convincing, because I was nervous myself.
I sat back on the bed, hoping he would do the same, but he remained standing and crossed his arms, clearly putting up a wall. I was already sweating. Was this really the moment when this dream would come to an end?

"Okay, so... The thing is... When I came to your house, the other week, to give you back the lenses... Well, that was just an excuse", I was cautious and tried to word every sentence in the most clear way possible. I didn't want any misunderstandings on top of my little lie.
At that point his muscles seemed to relax and a subtle smile came back. "Well, to be honest, I had guessed. That was the lamest excuse ever, you're really bad at lying. I just didn't know the reason back then".
I was glad he was taking it well, but I could tell by his smile that he thought the reason was that I liked him. And it was, but not directly and this was the most complicated part to explain.

"Yeah, about that... I did do it because I was trying to get closer to you, but that wouldn't be the whole truth... And it's really stupid, but if you got upset I would totally understand... Whatever you're gonna feel is absolutely valid and-"
"Moon, what is it?" He interrupted me, when he noticed I was just going off on a tangent. His worried look had come back.
"It was because of a stupid ploy that Tae and I had come up with", his eyebrows went up and he took a small step back. I hurried to continue the explanation, because I could tell that the premise didn't sound good at all.

"The thing is that, I was convinced you didn't like me, so-"
"So, what was the goal, then?" Jungkook cut off my words, his tone betrayed fear and uneasiness.
"I was trying to get over my crush for you and it doesn't make sense, I know... It's just that, we hadn't really seen each other that much in the past three years and as soon as I saw you walk through the Lab's door the first day, I knew I wasn't over you... That's why I was super on edge and always annoyed by any little thing you did or said... And seeing how even all that time apart didn't make my feelings for you go away, Tae suggested I spend more time with you... He was convinced you were an absolutely terrible guy, so he thought that if I had witnessed your arrogant personality from up close, it would've made me get over you quicker... Instead, getting to know you better only made my feelings grow, so the plan was an absolute fail... But since yesterday I kept feeling like I was lying to you about the true reason why I approached you... So, I really hope you can forgive this utterly childish attempt to hate you".

It was a long speech, but I blurted it out all at once because I didn't want him to interrupt me or to make any weird assumptions before I could finish the whole explanation. I kept looking at the floor the entire time, I was too scared I was going to see some sort of shift in his eyes and in the way he looked at me. When I finally pronounced the last sentence, I took my courage in both hands and looked up. He wasn't looking in my direction and his hand was covering half of his face so I couldn't see his expression. I waited a few second, my heart was racing, then he busted out laughing.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, you're being serious and everything... I shouldn't be laughing... Oh god, you got me there for a second, I really thought of the worse, completely forgetting who I'm talking to..."
To say I was confused by his reaction would be an understatement. "What- what do you mean?"
He couldn't stop laughing. Then he came to sit on the bed, right next to me. "I forgot that you're the sweetest person I know and that you've been since first grade... But I still got scared for a second, 'cause I really care about you... Your phrasing, though, could've been better, I almost got an heart attack!"
"I don't understand... You're not mad that I had an ulterior motive?" He laughed even harder, letting his head fall into my lap.
"Oh jeez, you don't even know the true meaning of those words, that's how innocent you are! I've had people come up to me with an ulterior motive, but it was for the money or the popularity or a bit of fame on social media... That's what an ulterior motive means!"
He couldn't stop laughing and on one hand I felt really stupid, because apparently Tae was right and it wasn't a big deal at all, but on the other hand I was relieved. The way he reacted reassured me on the opinion he had of me and I realized we were not going to have any issues related to trust in the future of our relationship.

"Okay, okay, you can stop now, I get it! Stop making fun of me!" I pushed him away, faking a pout. He hugged me right away.
"I'm not, I swear! I'm just having a glucose spike! You're just so sweet and, honestly, the fact that you approached me not because you were trying to get with me but because you were trying to get over me is the cutest thing I've ever heard and the type of story I would love to tell our grandkids one day!"
He looked so happy and it was starting to rub off on me, especially after the last sentence.
"Grandkids? You're really going that far?" I joked around, even though I really liked the idea.
"I would argue that's not even far enough", he answered in a whisper before kissing me gently.

"I'm happy with you, Moon, you make me happy and my desire for control just disappears when I'm with you, because you're constantly showing me that I can trust you".
His sudden confession, while he was cuddled up to my neck, took me unprepared and made me blush. I knew how much those words meant, he wasn't saying it just to say it. I knew his obsession for control was a big part of his life and part of the reason why he seeked help through the support group, so him saying that really meant a lot, more than I could express. And I wanted to tell him that I felt the same and that he made me feel like I could just be me, because he would've liked all of it. Just Luna, the natural. With my glasses and my frizzy hair and my imperfect skin.
I should've said all of that, but I was too shy, so I decided to just change the subject and I was suddently reminded of something.

"Uhmmm... So, now that we're talking about trust, can I read those text drafts?" I said, breaking the hug and starting fidgeting with my fingers.
"What? You're still thinking about that? Come on! It's really nothing..." He said, trying to make me give up. But I wasn't going to. I believed him when he said he had liked me for a long time, but having that confirmation would've made me feel better. I was also really curious to know what he was going to text me.
"Oh, come on! I've just proved to you that you can trust me!" I insisted, with a cheeky smile.
"Hufff... Okay, okay, I guess you earned it... Then, I'll show them to you... One every month... So I'm sure that you'll stick around at least until graduation", he gave in, returning the mischievous grin.
"That would never be the reason why I stay with you! I'm not that materialistic!" I answered, faking an outraged look. "So, can't we do it all at once? Like, right now!" I, then, asked desperately, with a sweet pout.
"Nope, the decision is taken..." He answered firmly, so I had to give up.
"Fine, then it's a deal..."

We sealed our deal with a kiss and that was just the beginning of our love story, a beautiful love story which didn't last only until graduation.


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And this is the ending of my book 'Enhanced'!
Or is it?
Some special episodes are in store, so stay tuned!

Lots of love,

Mypoornerves 💜

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