𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇𝑔𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 (Stargazing)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 21

   Emily

The sudden vibration of my phone knocked me out of this strain of consciousness, attempting to sleep despite the fact that my mind wouldn't allow itself to rest. Shifting my body to face my nightstand, I reached over and grabbed my glasses, resting them against my face before reaching towards my phone. Silently tapping on the screen, a message bubble popped up in the center of the screen from Ramira.

"Hey, are you awake?..." she asked, my eyes squinting as I tried to read the message across the screen. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I swiped up on the screen, entering my social media feed. Pressing the small tabs button, I entered the direct message chat between Ramira and I.

"Yeah, what's up?" I questioned, propping my stiff, heavy body up against the pillow. Within a moment, another message popped up on my screen from her.

"Nothing, I just need someone right now," she explained, the sound of her voice faltering floating through my mind as I read the message.

"Why? What happened?" The small arrow button turned into a circle as the message sent, a little checkmark signaling that the message had made its way to her.

"Nothing happened... it's just that I feel so alone nowadays," she explained, her message devoid of any sort of emojis or shortened words, expressing her strange, almost unnatural sadness.

"Why would you think that?" I questioned, tapping away at the keyboard to try and figure out what's going on.

"These past couple of months have been hard. Everyone that I have cared for is starting to feel more and more distant," she explained, her saddened voice echoing in my mind despite all the moments I had spent with her. She was always a glass half full person, her smile cutting through anyone's grief.

"But you still have me and your parents. What about your sister?" I explained, my eyes staring at the dark blue background of our message chat. There was a long pause between messages, my mind racing with confusion and worry as the seconds grew into minutes.

"I guess you're right, but even they feel like shadows within my mind. I don't know what to do because I feel so lost in my life right now," she explained, the message popping onto my screen before my eyes. Taking a moment to digest what I had read, I quietly tapped away at my screen.

"But you're always so jovial and it seems like everyone around you like's talking to you, how can you think of them as shadows when they laugh and joke with you?" I replied, the small circle morphing into the check mark as the message sent. Her next message popped onto my screen almost immediately.

"Yeah, but how do I know they're not faking it?" She questioned, before another message popped onto the screen. "How do I know they genuinely like me when I can be loud and annoying. Most of the time my jokes aren't really that funny."

"But you're being yourself. At the end of the day, that's what anyone would want," I replied, hastily typing away at my keyboard. But the faster our responses grew, the more visible it was that she was not listening to me. Every one of her messages came up as a question of her personality and how people view her despite the fact she had friends. She had people that cared about her, so then why is it she feels this way?

"It's like no one actually likes me. I'm just a mess of an individual," she stated as my sadness yet confusion grew.

"Ramira, just stop." Taking a deep sigh, I typed out my thoughts as the messages disappeared. "You are overthinking all of this. No one dislikes you and you're not a screw up, you are Ramira Dreguis. You are cared about by so many people and the fact you think you aren't is the most upsetting thing about this entire ordeal. Try to get some sleep, maybe things will feel better in the morning."