𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇𝑔𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 (Stargazing)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 32

The two of us sat at the lunch table in our regular seats, Janine's chair sitting emptily between the two of us. There was a strange barrier between the two of us, an invisible curtain that blocked the two of us from speaking to each other. The roar of the lunchroom provided the background noise of our mindless thoughts. My eyes lightly looked towards her, noticing her pencil rapidly sketching across the paper, her eyes focused on nothing else but the image in her mind. Pulling back the curtain, I attempted to try and fix the damages that Janine's death had caused to us.

"Hey," I began, her pencil stopping for a split second. The glimmer of her glasses shone brightly as she turned her head towards me.

"Hey," she said slowly, turning her head back to her sketchbook. Her pencil continued its drawing, Emily focusing her eyes on the image before her. My heart skipped a beat as I tried talking to her, unsure of what to say to her.

"How are you doing?" I questioned, immediately kicking myself for such a stupid question. She paused, her pencil stopping with the lead sitting against the paper.

"I'm sorry," she paused, her light brown eyes looking towards me, glistening with the small tear droplets in her eyes. My heart stopped, the two of us staring into each other's eyes, a tear falling from the crevasse of her eye and making its journey down her cheek.

"Why are you sorry?" I questioned, my body feeling weak as the grief pressed down on my shoulders.

"I just... I hate this," she began, looking away from me and onward towards the sketchbook paper. "When Ramira died, I abandoned all of my friends because I couldn't come to grips with talking to them. It was my fault that she died and all I wanted to do was sit in my room and be alone." Looking up towards me, my eyes grew wider as I realized what she was about to say. "I feel that way now. All I want to do is be alone, so I'm sorry Kevin."

Tears fell down her face, staining the light grey pants she wore with the weight of her depression. My heart stopped, my mind realizing that as quickly as they came, I would lose all of my friends.

"But it's not your faul-"

"I didn't say it was!" she exclaimed, her head swiftly turning towards her sketchbook, hiding her tear covered face with her hair. "It's just that every time I open myself up, let myself make friends and have a social life, it only ends in tragedy. Sometimes I just don't want to be alive because it feels like no matter where I go, tragedy follows," she explained, her sketchbook paper becoming stained. I sat there, staring at the mess of a person the two of us had become. But, in a way, I couldn't blame her entirely.

I was the same way a few months ago, losing all my friends and the people I cared for the most. It was like I was in an unending pit, forever falling in this strange pit of darkness, forever surrounded by the dread I had felt. I paused, watching her break down before me as my mind raced for the right words to tell her.

"I understand your pain," was the only thing I could muster myself to say, her cries slowing to soft whimpers as her eyes looked towards me through the strands of hair that covered her face. There was a long pause between the two of us, my eyes focusing on the outside world that poured the bright sunlight inside.

"You do?" she questioned, my head lowering to look towards the lunch table as we spoke.

"Yeah... remember? I lost all of my friends too when me and that girl had our confrontation," I explained, turning towards her glittering eyes. "I lost all of my friends and was left alone to try and cope with the devastation of these events." There was a long pause between us, our hearts beating ever so slowly as the world around us became muffled. With a sigh, I turned away from Emily, my eyes focusing on the ground as I thought to myself.

A slight chuckle slipped from Emily's lips as we sat in silence, her voice cutting through the air.

"We're so similar... it's just so strange how you and I understand each other so well," Emily replied, my eyes glancing towards her. Her hair glistened softly with the sunlight as her eyes scanned the drawing she was working on. Taking a closer look, I noticed the figure standing in the center of the paper, her back turned towards the audience as she stared out at the night sky.

"What are you drawing?" I questioned, leaning over towards her to get a better look at the neatly designed, delicate drawing. The figure's hair flowed beautifully with the wind within the drawing, as if it were a moment in time she captured within the lens of a camera, keeping the stillness of the moment within her mind forever.

"Well, it was supposed to be a scenic cliff looking over the dark night sky but," she explained, before pausing nervously. "What stuck with me most was that Janine did that, and so I wanted to capture the beauty of the scene with her in it." Looking at it for a long moment, I couldn't help but admire the delicacy and amount of care she put in the drawing to convey the moment she had in her mind. I admired her art, every line across the paper performing its purpose perfectly to capture her thoughts and emotions.

"I really like it, Emily," I replied slowly, looking up towards her. Her eyes were a light red from the tears that fell down her face, but the thought that we were there for each other during this time of tragedy comforted her. But at the same time, her being here also comforted me. The two of us sat there, silently admiring each other's presence as the lunch period went on. "Can we call tonight?"

"Like, on the phone?" she questioned, looking towards me.

"Yeah. Can we draw together tonight?" I questioned, a slight smile forming across her face.

"Yeah, lets do that," Emily replied, our hearts fluttering towards each other as we spoke. It was in that moment that we felt, even for a split second, a light at the end of our long, dark tunnel...