𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇𝑔𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 (Stargazing)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 22

With a sigh, I sat down on the blue leather seat, looking out the window towards the outside world, the bright sun light cutting through the darkness the moon once brought. My ears filled with music; I watched the bright yellow creature move along the same path as usual. Suddenly though, the bus stopped at one of its routine areas, my eyes wandering towards the bus stop. Noticing the small crowd of roughly seven students, my eyes caught ahold of Emily, noticing her dark black jeans mixed with the dark blue sweatshirt she wore. Watching her step inside the creature, I quickly lifted my body to look over the seat, watching her walk down the aisle.

As she got closer, her eyes looked up, meeting mine as I tried to get her to see me. Pointing down beside me, a slight smile formed across her face as she slipped her arm through the strap of her bookbag. Plopping her body down into the seat, I moved my heavy bag so that she could sit there comfortably.

"Hey," I began, followed by a good morning from her. "What's up?"

"Nothing really, I'm just tired," she explained, sighing before resting her head against her grey bag.

"Couldn't sleep?" I questioned, watching as she rolled her head over to face me.

"A mix of that and a nightmare," Emily explained, her eyes looking away from mine and towards the darkness of the ground.

"Oh really?" I chuckled, "What was the nightmare about?" My chuckle slowly faded as her eyes stared deeply into the darkness of the ground, before turning her head to look directly down at the bag.

"Just something from my past," she muttered, hiding her face with her black hair and the grey bag. I paused, my mind heart stopping as I though about those nights to which I couldn't sleep, thinking of the missed opportunities and mistakes when it came to Abigail and I's relationship.

"I get that," I replied slowly, turning away from her and onwards towards the window. There was a long pause between the two of us, our minds in the same place but adrift in different worlds. Different thoughts and memories that allowed us to become who we were today.

"If I can ask, have you ever lost anyone before?" Emily questioned, our heads turning to face each other.

"What do you mean by that?" I replied, her head leaning up before resting against the seat.

"Well, have you ever known someone that you really care about and then lose them in some way, shape or form," Emily explained, her eyes getting darker as she thought about the question to herself. My heart skipped a beat as I thought about everyone from just a few months before. Cassey, Abigail, my friends at FastPass, everyone I lost due to those events.

"Yeah... I have," I replied, looking down at my bag.

"How did you get through it?" A long pause followed with that question, my mind wandering around the different things that had transpired within the past few months.

"Well, odd thing but..." I paused, looking away from the bag and onwards towards Emily. "I never have."

"Huh?" she muttered, watching the memories of those nights fly through the pupils of my eyes as her and I spoke. "You never did?"

"No, I'm still struggling." My eyes looked away from her, turning back to the heavy bag that sat on my lap. My mind flowed through the messages alongside those sleepless nights, left alone in the darkness to wander the vastness of hypothetical situations and self-loathing.

"You know... I am to," Emily muttered, looking onwards towards me as I silently sat there.

"Can I ask what happened?"

"Two years ago, in my freshman year of high school, I lost my best friend, Ramira. She killed herself and I was the last person to text her," she explained, breaking eye contact to look at the outside world. "Since then, I haven't really had friends and the ones I did have cut me off after learning that I had downplayed her problems." Her eyes looked empty as she stared out at the world, my heart skipping beats as I thought about our similar situations.