𝒮𝓉𝒶𝓇𝑔𝒶𝓏𝒾𝓃𝑔 (Stargazing)

𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 30

With the flickering of my eyes, the light blue outside world shone through the windows, creating a light blue atmosphere within my room. I quietly lifted my body, my bare feet hitting the soft carpet as I slowly woke up. Lifting my phone from off the nightstand, I noticed it was only eight in the morning, a deep sigh breaking through my lips.

"Even on the weekends I wake up early," I muttered, pushing myself off of my mattress before stumbling forward, nearly losing my balance upon leaving my room. Catching myself, I stood there for a moment, my heart banging against my chest as I stood there. Silently, I made my way towards the steps beside my room, grabbing onto the smooth wood of the handrail. I heard two people talking from down the steps, the television echoing throughout the living room on my right. A shiver went up my spine as my foot moved from the warmth of the carpet and onwards to the cold, bitter wood.

"Good morning sleepy, how was the concert?" I heard my mom ask from the couch, my head turning towards her with heavy eyes.

"It was good, I had a lot of fun," I explained, walking towards the couch before plopping down on it. The sound of the news reporters' voices echoed throughout the room, their astonished expressions cutting through the air as they spoke.

"Now last night was a tragic night for this single father, his daughter getting into a wreck at roughly midnight that would turn out to be fatal," the news woman said, her short, blonde hair contrasting the dark black dress she wore. With a sudden swoosh cutting through the air, my eyes opened widely out of pure shock, my calmness deteriorating as I watched the screen. Upon looking at the screen though, my heart stopped. The girl's green eyes caught my attention, looking directly into mine with a pale white grin. "Janine Willis, a junior in Witchenow high school, was hit on the driver's side of the car head on by a drunk driver driving on the wrong side of the road."

As the reporters spoke, I leaned forward, my eyes going wider with horror as she laid out the details of what had happened.

"Kevin, are you ok?" I heard my mom ask, watching my world collapse before my eyes.

"No," I began, repeating the same word over and over again as I ripped my phone out of my pocket. In a flash of a second, I pressed the phone shaped button next to Janine's name, the phone turning towards the screen with the low humming sound.

"Kevin! Talk to me!" My mother exclaimed, the worry in her voice cutting through the air as the master bedroom door opened upstairs.

"Please pick up, please pick up, Please Pick Up," I muttered to myself, the dial tone humming in my ear as I sat on the couch, my heart beating faster and faster with worry. My father made his way down the steps, his almost bald head glistening with the outside light.

"What's wrong hon?" my dad asked, immediately noticing my mother's expression.

"Kevin, talk to us!" her voice called out as I sat there, the voice of the assistant cutting through the air.

"I'm sorry, the person you are trying to reach has a voice mailbox of," the female voice stated, my hand swiftly tapping the red button, my phone almost falling from my hand from the pure fury of the tap. Pressing the phone call button, the humming of the phone call sitting in my ear as my parents tried reaching out to me. Suddenly, there was a clicking sound that cut through the air, my parents going silent as they saw the hope in my eyes. With the sound of the phone moving through the air, a deep, male voice spoke into the phone.

"Hello?" the older sounding man asked, the hope crashing in my eyes like a rock thrown into a window.

"Hi, this is, uh- "I began, weakishly talking into the phone. "I'm Kevin, one of Janine's friends, Wha- "

"Oh..." the man's voice said, cutting me off.

"Oh?" I questioned into the phone, the man on the other end pausing, collecting his thoughts as we sat in silence.

"You're the guy she'd always talk about..." the man on the other end said, my heart stopping as realization hit me.

"Are you her father?" I questioned, the voice on the other end going silent, a soft sniffle coming from the other end.

"Yes, I'm David Willis," the voice on the other end said, his voice sounding fragile now. I sat there, my heart stopped and my mind empty except for the thoughts of her. Janine Willis. If only I wasn't so nervous to give her the necklace, then maybe, just maybe, I would've saved her life. If only I wasn't such a stupid nervous wreck.

"I'm sorry for your loss," I muttered into the phone, the silence on the other end creeping into my ear.

"I'm sorry for yours," David replied slowly, the silence of his end disappearing with the sound of the phone hanging up. Lowering the rectangle from my ear, I sat there in complete silence, my parents staring at me for a long moment. I couldn't get up, move a single inch of my body at all. It felt as though my soul were trapped inside a now dismantling body, my mind becoming plagued with the overwhelming dread I had faced all those months ago. Sitting there in silence, the world around me turned to darkness, my parents becoming shadows as I sat there in it.

This single spark of hope, a light in the center of all this darkness. Janine was that light. Janine became that light in the world of darkness that I needed, but now, it was as though nothing changed. Any sense of joy I had strived to find, searching in the deepest, darkest crevices in my mind, was now gone with the wind...

* * *

Sitting within my room, my body rested against the softness of my mattress as I held the phone up to my ear, the humming sound of the phone ringing in my ear. The clicking of someone picking up before the high-pitched voice spoke from the other end.

"Hey Kevin, what's up?" Emily asked on her end, my voice pausing, my mind unable to formulate words within that second. Several seconds of silence went by, Emily's confused hello's filling the call.

"Um," I finally managed myself to muster, Emily going silent as I spoke. "I need... to tell you something."

"Okay?" Emily questioned, her voice ringing in my ear as the dread against my shoulders grew heavier. I sat there, silently thinking about how to word it to her.

"Janine... she's um," I began, stopping myself to try and hold back my emotions. "She's gone."

"What do you mean?" Emily questioned, her tone going lower as I explained what I was trying to say to her.

"Janine... got in a..." I paused, the tears forming from my eyes as my voice became more rushed and frantic. "She died in a wreck." My frantic voice broke into soft whimpers, pressing the speaker button before tossing the phone away from me. The tears escaped my eyes lids, running from the dread that sat within my body. Emily's end went silent, before the clicking of her phone hanging up cut through the air.

The tears dropped from my face, staining my carpet with the weight of sadness that swept over my body. My body, now too weak to hold itself up, lowered itself onto the mattress, laying there in complete utter dread, my depression coming back to me like a memory from a childhood...

* * *

Pressing the red button, the phone hung up as the pencil dropped from my hand. Slowly lifting myself, I turned towards my bed, the entire situation falling onto my shoulders as the memories of last night rushed through the deepest corners of my mind. Sitting down on the bed, I silently grabbed my pillow, bringing it close to me. Shoving my face into it, I quietly took a deep breath before pressing it as hard against my face as I could, screaming into it as hard as I could. Tears rushing out of my eyes, I continued screaming into the pillow, my mind rushing with memories of Janine alongside Ramira.

Why was it me? Why do I always lose the people closest to me no matter how hard I try to protect them? The rush of emotions flowing within me left me there, broken and in pain, unable to think of anything to bring me out of this heavy sense of loss within my body...