Rindou Haitani was no stranger to having bad days, but on one particularly terrible, rainy winters day he found her, the girl who turned his boring cycle of life into one full with fruition. Can he do the same for her?
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- 𝚝𝚘𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚟𝚎𝚍 - - 𝚜𝚊𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚍𝚊𝚢 -
To some, music is just a means to pass time, to others it's a way of coping. Some listen to music all day, everyday, some hardly even listen to one song a day, some base their mood off what songs play, some play different genres of music based off their mood. Music is universal, understanding, emotional, uplifting, encouraging, informative and supportive among many other things.
You were really struggling to keep up your positive front the day after Namika died and so you were very flat, not playing your usual playlist at the cafe today. Instead today you were playing sad music, the stereotypical music you would listen to when you wanted nothing more than to disappear.
Getting out of bed this morning was horrible, all you wanted was to curl up and cry, to not speak to anybody all day and to be left alone with your thoughts despite knowing how depressing they were. Despite your disconsolation trying desperately to get the better of you, you had shown up to work after not sleeping all night, having spent the entire time crying.
Grief had never been something you handled well.
Your mother leaving at a young age impacted you tremendously in ways you never even realised, changing the way you handled things to this day like how you coped with death terribly. Instead of facing it head on like everyone else had, you ran away, hiding in your own shell pretending everything was alright, building walls around yourself that not even you yourself could break down.
The impending breakdown you had been fighting off for the past five years was crashing against those walls, raging to get out and your barriers were breaking. It was only a matter of time before those emotions crashed out like a tidal wave. Some would say that's just what happens to those who have a big heart, a little too big for this world. The cruelest things always happen to the gentlest of souls.
After Baji's death you had done the same thing, running away, retreating into your inner shell, hiding. It wasn't until Chifuyu tracked you down several months later that you spoke to people again, having shut out everyone around you.
Eventually you found comfort in the chaos, but that was only a temporary fix to the years of trauma you had been repressing. A part of your brain that you had tricked into thinking everything was okay, and that the chaos was controlled- of course it was a lie.
There is no light at the end of this tunnel, if you could even call it that. Your life had turned into more of a pit, no light at the other end to be seen and no hopes of escape. You were a hairline crack away from losing it entirely and the thought of being better was scary, and you couldn't for the life of you figure out how to prevent it.
Both your brother and your father were the only family you had left yet you watched them die right in front of you with your very own eyes, once again tearing you apart. Essentially everyone else that you had befriended after that quickly had their life snuffed out by South as well, if it weren't for Namika and Makio you would have given up by now.
