𝐰𝐞 𝐞𝐱𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞. | a. skywalker

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞

The ride back to Coruscant was less than desirable, to say the least. Master Secura was occupied with the Council, and Master Kenobi and Anakin were whisked away, too deep in conversation to notice anything in their surroundings. We were on a small cruiser, with barely enough room for the four of us.

I sat in my own solace in the back, aimlessly fidgeting with my bracelet, and desperately trying to lose myself in my thoughts out of boredom, but I was too hyper fixated on the vibrations of the ship and the fact that I was alone, not out of my own accord, to slip into the ever present occurances in my mind.

Why is it that I fall into my thoughts at the most unnecessary times, but when I could use its comfort, all attempts are useless?

Frustrated, I moved the beads around, hoping to land sooner rather than later.

It didn't help that I had seemed to create a tension between all of the members onboard.

—

It was nearly nightfall by the time our ship touched ground in the never resting city. I quickly hurried to fall in line after my master, noticing our footsteps fall in sync as we walked through the Temple. To my surprise, our presence in the Council Chambers was not requested, and I bid her a good night as I retired to my quarters.

After the days I have had recently, it was nice to be alone, especially after the torturous trip back. Being in the presence of my own company felt so much more relaxing when I was behind closed doors, not worrying about anyone's perception of me.

Feeling the sleepiness creep upon me, I took the liberty of a hot shower to cleanse myself of my worries, and the endless dirt caked beneath my clothes. The water was a relief to my aching muscles, and though I had felt my skills improve, my body could only withstand so much.

Wrapped in a towel, I looked at the small frame staring back at me. I looked dainty, almost fragile, but the lines in my face and scars on my body betrayed the youthfulness I had once had. The days of rationing through the war had taken strength from me, but my endless desire to be exceptional had given me what I needed to succeed.

A juxtaposition, of sorts, was what this life had molded me into.

Slipping into a satin pajama set, I allowed myself to feel the little luxury that living in the Temple gave me, so different of the lives many lived in the war ridden galaxy. I massaged scented fragrances into my skin, feeling slightly more like myself.

If I wasn't Force sensitive, I knew I would have made a life for myself in the upper levels somehow, indulging in my secret hobbies of fashion and self care.

In my world, my priority was to be a protector of peace, not worrying about worldly desires.

But as Anakin had asked, what would I be if it wasn't for the Jedi?

This was my answer, though it is not something I would ever admit.

I let myself give in to the sleep my body so desperately craved, and the world around me fizzled as it overcame me.

—

I was awoken by a few raps to my door, and before I could come to my senses, the door slid open.

"Anakin?" I mumbled, still groggy from my sudden awakening.

"Sorry to barge in," he apologized, "But I can't sleep."

"I can tell," I replied, sitting up. "How did you find my room, anyways?"

"Your force signature is very distinctive," he replied smoothly.

I took a moment to glance at him. He didn't look like he had slept at all, his eyes glazed over and he had dark circles under his eyes. Looking closer, he was visibly shaken, and something about his presence seemed... off.