My Little Fire

18

The date went pretty great tonight. After we came down from that Ferris wheel, we had some dinner to eat at McDonald's and we didn't have one fight the whole night. Who would believe that?

" I had a great time tonight" I grinned ear to ear at Caspian, while standing in front of his dorm room. 

He wanted to 'lead me to my door', his words not mine but I declined as Olivia might see us and that is the last thing I want.

Caspian slightly opens his door and asks, "Do you wanna come inside?"

I shrug "Sure" I walk inside the room with my hands in my pockets while looking around "Where is your room mate?"

"He is out with his girlfriend, he won't be back until the morning" He replies, while taking some beers out from his mini fridge.

Wait, "You have a mini fridge?" I ask out loud.

He looks at me funny "Yeah, having parents who donates to the school has its perk."

"That is cool" I reply as I take the beer bottle from his hand and sit down on the couch that is probably his roommate's.

"You're gonna ask about the mini fridge and not the alcohol?" He asks while sitting down beside me.

"Oh right!" I facepalm myself.

He laughs a bit "We have a hiding corner so if anybody comes for inspection, nobody is able to see it."

"That is weirdly smart" I joke. He chuckles. 

"Sometimes I wish our room had a TV too" He complains. 

I mutter with a laugh "Guess your parents are not giving enough donations, huh?"

He joins in on my joke "Yeah, I think I will give my parents a call about that."

"What does your parents do, by the way?" Caspian asks, after we both sober up from our laughter.

"They have this business about which I don't even give a fuck, but it is a publishing house which is quite popular."

"Nerd-ish"

"Eh, it pays the bills"

"Honey, if you're studying here it pays more than bills" Caspian says while finally sitting beside me.

"True that" I say nodding at his statement.

Now, we are both sitting on his bed, beside each other. 

"What about your parents, what do they do?" I ask him while looking at him carefully, he has a scar on his right cheek, just beside his ear.

"Oh, it's just my dad, my mother died when I was a kid" He says casually "Dad is a lawyer."

"I-I am sorry" I stutter. I am the worst at these kind of situations. 

He shrugs "It's fine, it was a long time ago."

An awkward silence falls between us. It's kind of weird to realize that we've been through so much and it has been almost three months since I've known him & Olivia, yet there is so much that I still don't know about them.

Caspian scoots under the blanket, whispers "come here" and taps the space beside him.

I scoot myself to sit beside him and throw the blanket over us. He takes his hand and keeps it behind me and pulls me closer to him so that my head is on his chest. We both just sit there in a comfortable silence, lost in our own thoughts.

A sudden thought struck me as I crane my neck towards Caspian, gathering all the courage that I had I asked him, "Caspian?"

"Hmm?"

"What are we doing?"

He finally looks towards me, his blue looking into my blue. His eyes, they always show some kind of fear in them. I always thought he is the type of a man, who is not afraid of anything. Guess, we all have things we are afraid of.

He finally decides to answer me. Taking both of my hands in his he gives them a kiss, "I have no idea, little fire but I know you are the only one who makes me feel this kind of way. And I don't think there is going to be anyone else."

It wasn't exactly what I thought he would answer and I don't think it was exactly what I wanted to hear either but when he said that, I knew what I was afraid of. 

Falling for him.

It scared me. At that moment, I was the second most afraid in my life. The first most being, when I saw my little brother getting killed.

"I had a brother" I whispered. 

He looked at me confused thinking why I was telling him this.

"I saw him getting killed in front of me, Caspian. That night changed my life, and shit like that" I whisper "changes you."

His eyes widen a little in shock, "I am so sorry, little fire. You don't have to talk about that."

I shake my head, "its fine."

I finally decided to confess, "That moment has been the most scary moment of my life, when I felt the most powerless, after that moment, this is the moment that scares me."

His hands grip my hands tighter, as if consoling me without any words.

"So, I want you to know, that whatever this is, you are not the only one scared shitless. I am scared too" I nod my head a little, licking my lips "Whatever it is that you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone."

He nods his head as his head now rests against me, he whispers "I know, little fire, I know. But some secrets are best kept secret or they will ruin whatever little we have."

"But if secrets are kept secrets, they will ruin whatever we have eventually."