The Impractical Joker/The Joker's Provokers

Chapter 16

The Batphone was beeping in the Batcave and Batman picked it up.

"Yes, commissioner. I would have phoned you sooner, but I had nothing to report" he said.

"Well, I have something to report, Batman. Our beloved metropolis seems to be in the grip of a strange spell. Someone, and we suspect the Joker again, is playing a devious trick with time. Turning it backward, forward, faster, slower" Commissioner Gordon explained.

"Sounds like he's improved on that magic box of his" said Batman.

"Which could spell disaster. And there's an envelope for you here, Batman. It's shaped in the form of a key" said Commissioner Gordon.

"Better open it and read me the message. Time may be of the essence" said Batman.

The commissioner read the message and Batman rewrote it on a chalkboard.

"We can't afford to be wrong about this message, Robin" said Batman.

"That's just the way Commissioner Gordon read it over the phone" said Robin.

He reread part of the message out loud.

Thanks to the work of a single sphere,

 you saw what happened to time right here!

"I just may be onto something" said Batman reading another part of the message.

Now regard with care my final o-ho_ _ _ 

"O-ho..." said Robin.

"What does o-ho mean to you three?" said Batman.

"Is that how the Joker writes his annoying cackle?" said Sam.

"Nah, that's too generic to be a cackle" said Calvin.

"Well, it's the only explanation" said Charles Wallace.

"Not quite. What does it mean to you, Robin?" said Batman.

"Well, it's a word composed of two O's and one H. Holy hydraulics! H2O. The chemical symbol for water" said Robin.

"Oh, yeah! So the Joker must be committing a crime that has to do with water" said Charles Wallace.

"We're all onto something. Now the last line" said Batman.

He read the last line of the message out loud.

I've a gargoyle's key and away I go-go!

"Hmm. Can you guys figure out the words gargoyles key?" said Calvin.

"Well... gargoyles are some kind of decor aren't they?" said Sam.

"Yeah. They're a grotesque kind of decor that decorates some of Europe's old churches" said Robin.

"I see. And their original functions, their meanings, Robin, were water spouts, drains, funnels, throughways..." said Batman.

"Then a gargoyle's key must be the key to a waterworks" said Calvin.

"Yes, and that all ties into the first sentence. Thanks to the work of a single sphere" said Batman.

"Sphere, huh?" said Sam.

"A ball is a sphere" said Robin.

"Yeah, but what else?" said Charles Wallace.

"A marble... a pebble... a pill" said Robin.

"A pill! You mean the Joker could have gotten the key to the waterworks and polluted Gotham City's water supply?" said Sam.

"Yes, I've heard that a character resembling the Joker was seen by a waterworks security guard near the storage reservoir a night or so ago" said Batman.

"Holy floodgate!" said Robin.

"Yes, Robin. He may have started his job with one pill. And now he's off to finish that job" said Batman.

"Golly. As insidious as a scheme could be imagined. Extortion via time" said Calvin.

"We better get to the waterworks fast" said Charles Wallace.

Alfred, who was waxing the Batmobile, had overheard the conversation.

"If I may, sir. I didn't want to interrupt but I heard the whole thing. I just can't let you and Master Robin, nor those three young ones run the risk, sir. Let me go" he said.

"You, Alfred?" said Batman.

"Yes. Mrs Cooper's whist group left and she's gone to the theater" said Alfred.

"Gawrsh, Alfred. How are you gonna stop the Joker without us?" said Sam.

"Simple as this, Mistress Sam. In an hour, it'll be dark and I shall have no difficulty in getting into the waterworks. My cousin Egbert is night watchman there. You remember Eggy, sir? As president of the water commission, you helped him get his job" said Alfred.

"I believe so" said Batman.

"Now, it's more than likely that he's the man who saw the Joker" said Alfred.

"Wow! What are you gonna do if he is?" said Charles Wallace.

"Well... I seldom ask a favor, but I do ask this one of Batman. You see, I'd like to feel that I'm not only contributing my bit... I like to feel that I'm part of the team, sir" said Alfred.

"Well spoken, Alfred" said Batman.

"Of course you're part of the team" said Robin.

"Then you will, sir, let me replace you in this crafty charade?" said Alfred.

"Not exactly replace us, Alfred. But it might not be a bad idea for you to replace your cousin in the security room. That way, the Warriors can stake out the storage reservoir and tell Robin and I what they saw. And when they do, we'll be nearby and on the alert" said Batman.

"I was hoping you'd say that, sir" said Alfred.