the summer you noticed me ↠ conrad fisher {1}

t w e n t y - n i n e

I don't say anything. There is nothing to say in a situation like this. I just hug him, it takes him a second but he finally wraps his arms around me. So tightly that I feel like in this moment I'm the only thing holding him together. I wish I could mend his broken pieces right now; but like I said there is nothing I can do to change the way he feels, or the situation at hand. So I'm doing the only thing that I can in this moment, holding him, without judgment, letting him cry for as long as he needs.

It makes so much sense now. About why everyone's been saying he's so different this summer. Holding in not only one but two secrets. This could absolutely destroy a person, I'm just glad the old Conrad is buried deep down in his roots and he's still here fighting his way out.

This is him, fighting it. He doesn't want to be in this alone anymore, and he's not, he has me. Now that he has me he will never have to fight this alone anymore.

Tears are streaming down my cheeks as I attempt to murmur to Conrad that it's okay and he just needs to let it all out but I can't seem to form actual words. They are all drowned out by my sobs.

I love Susannah, and owe her everything for how she has welcomed me into their home over the years. Countless meals she has cooked for me. Countless sleepovers she's made pillow forts, and had dance parties with us. Most of all she talked my parents into letting me stay down here this summer. I wouldn't be here for Conrad if she hasn't convinced them. I owe her everything because she brought me here.

"Thank you," he whispers, grabbed my arm. "Thank you." He pulls back from our awkward embrace. He had collapsed into tears on my shoulder, but slowly made his way down to my forearm. He cups his hands on my cheeks, and stares at me. He's breathing normally now, but I'm still crying. I can't stop crying. "I've had months to accept this, I know I dropped it on you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he says.

A few tears slip from his eyes and I wipe them with my hand. I mimic him by cupping his cheeks. "I'm glad you told me," I whisper. "I'd hate for you to go through this alone," and I move his arms away from my face because now I need him.

I wrap my arms around his neck falling back onto this bed. I'm laying on top of him, but he doesn't seem to mind so I don't move. My head is buried in his neck fully and I take a second to appreciate him; appreciate his strength, appreciate his arms wrapped tightly around me letting me get out my tears for his mother, appreciate him for telling me, just appreciating him for everything that he is.

I love Conrad Fisher.

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authors note:

shorter chapter, i just felt like this one deserved its own moment.