Family: Out of Business

Rolled

Claire's pov

I woke up feeling pretty good. Looking at the time on my alarm clock I smiled, noticing my uncle let me sleep in this morning. Getting out of bed, I freshened up a little in my bathroom before going in search of my uncle and some breakfast. Okay, mostly breakfast cuz I'm really hungry. Swimming always does that to me. I found my uncle in the living room, reading the paper and drinking his gross bitter tea that he has some weird unnatural, unhealthy attachment to.

"Buongiorno (Good morning), Claire," he said, without looking up from his newspaper.

"Buongiorno, Zio (Uncle)," I replied politely, not wanting to start my day by pissing him off. I went into the kitchen to get something to eat. I don't really feel like making eggs or pancakes so I guess cereal will have to do. When I went to pour myself a bowl of Lucky Charms, I accidentally spilled a bunch on the floor. "Shit," I cursed under my breath, as I stepped on some pieces when I tried to get off my stool, creating an even bigger mess.

My morning theatrics, of course, did not go unnoticed by my uncle, who I swear has better echolocation than most bat species.

"Really?" he questioned, as soon as he walked into the room, gesturing to the mess I'd made on the floor.

"It was an accident, I didn't do it on purpose," I snapped at him, in a fairly crabby tone of voice. I already know I'm clumsy, I don't need Sherlock Holmes pointing it out to me.

"Clean it up," is all he said, more like barked, before returning to the living room.

"I can't, we don't have a broom and dustpan or even a vacuum," I shouted, so he could hear me from the other room.

"We'll remedy that tomorrow," he said, returning to survey this morning's disaster. "For now, you'll have to use your hands and some paper towels."

"Seriously?" I whined. "Can't I just leave it and clean it up tomorrow?"

"You don't want me to answer that question, bambina (baby girl)."

"Yeah, I do," I responded, with a smidge too much confidence for a girl in my position.

"Mia nipote (My niece), if I'm forced to put down my cup of tea to handle you, I guarantee I will not be happy and you will not be sitting down tomorrow. Sono chiaro (Am I clear)?"

I nodded to appease him.

"Ugghhh! So dramatic for nothing, I swear," I muttered under my breath after he walked away and I was sure he was out of earshot. I scooped up what cereal pieces I could before grabbing some paper towels and dampening them to makeshift a mop to wipe up the crushed crumbs. It took me a few passes but I managed to remove all traces of evidence of my magically delicious breakfast from the hardwood floor.

"I finished cleaning up my cereal, Uncle EJ," I informed him, as I entered the living room. "Are we gonna go shopping today to get some better cleaning supplies than a roll of Brawny?"

"No, we'll go tomorrow. I have business to attend to today and I need you to stay out of my hair."

"Oooookay, what does that mean?" I asked rather reluctantly, knowing I probably won't like the answer.

"It means," my uncle paused as he walked past me on his way to the kitchen, "you may spend the day outside enjoying the fresh air and the pool."

"I can go swimming again? Woo hoo!" I started celebrating before the British assassin double-o-no-fun accepted the assignment to end all childlike mirth across the globe.

"IF and that's a big if, mia nipote (my niece)..." he said, spanking me sharply on the bottom. Pointing his finger in my face, he finished his condescending thought, "If, and only if, you can behave yourself. Capiscimi (Understand me)?"