𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

018. Wanted To Be You.

    

     THE GIRLS now arrive to Pennhurst Asylum where Robin struggles walking around the vehicle as Val also tried her best not to trip over her feet or break a goddamn ankle. "I can't breathe in this thing, and I'm itchy. I'm itching all over." Robin said, complaining.

"It's not all about comfort." Nancy says and Valerie sends her the side eye. "Okay? We're academics." The Wheeler glanced between the two are both clearly uncomfortable in the get-ups. "Who are coming from what? Easter brunch?" Val says with a scrunched up face. "Also, this bra that you gave me is really pinching my boobs." Robin says, adjusting the bra under her cardigan, glancing around as she spoke. "Okay. Could you two just let me do the talking? If that's even possible?"

"It's not only possible, it's inevitable. Because shortly, I'll be dead from strangulation." Robin says, pulling on the collar around her neck as Nancy rolled her eyes at that.

In the director's room, they wait patiently as the man looked at their files, turned to the right side. "3.9 GPAs." He noted then looked over at the three girls in their seats in front of his desk. "All three of you." He adds before looking back. "Impressive." He closes the folder, setting down the file he had just read.

"And this is a recommendation from Professor Brantley." Nancy handed over the letter, smiling. "Yeah, I know Larry. Quite well, actually." The man says as Robin and Val glance at one another then over at Nancy. "Well, you know what they say. Those who can't do, teach." The man says before laughing and Robin joined in on the chuckling.

Val glanced at her girlfriend in surprised but followed her actions, chuckling as well. "Uh, yes, yes, that's actually why we're here." Nancy says, looking to the other two girls to her left. "I mean, we can only learn so much in a classroom." She looks back at Dr. Hatch.

"Mmm." The man hums, softly nodding. "And I'm sympathetic to your struggle, truly. But there is a protocol to visiting a patient like Victor. You have to put in a request and then you have to undergo a screening procress, at which point the board will make a decision." He informs the three young ladies, sliding away the three folders with his glasses on top of them. The three are all quiet, Nancy making a face as Val sent the Wheeler a look.

"I can see you're disappointed." The man says and Val glanced over at him. "But I'm more than happy to give you a tour of our facility. Perhaps you can even speak to some patients in our low-security wing." He says and Val furrows her brows, glancing at Nancy who nervously glanced at her and Robin.

"And we'd... we would love that. It's just that, um..." The Wheeler says, "our thesis is due next month." She explains. "And you're out of time." The man says and she nods softly. "Whose fault is that?" He asked rudely. "Ours. Absolutely. And I do apologize--" "don't apologize, Ruth, screw that." Val cut in suddenly, glancing at Nancy who stared at her.

"Yeah. The fact of the matter is, we did put in a request months ago and were denied." Robin says as the man now looks at her. "And then we reapplied and were denied again. And coming here was our last-ditch effort to save our thesis. And I really... I can't breathe in this thing." Robin looks over at Nancy, tugging at the collar of the ruffley pink blouse again.

"Uh, well, Rose, Evelyn, maybe you two'd like to go outside and get some air." Nancy says aggressively at them. "Maybe we should, Ruth. Come on, Rose." Val stood up. "Mm-hmm." Nancy nods, giving her the wide eyed gaze the whole time. "Because I'm staring to think this was all a big mistake." Val says and Robin stood up as well. "I'm breaking out in a rash. My boobs hurt." The Buckley cups her chest making Val quickly turn to her, with wide eyes at what her girlfriend was saying.

"And," Robin turns to the man, "I'll tell you the truth, Anthony. May I call you Anthony?" She asked and didn't wait for an answer as she goes on. "These aren't actually my clothes, neither are hers." Robin gestured to Val who just nods to the man as if to confirm.

"I borrowed them because I wanted you to take us seriously. Because nobody takes girls seriously in this field. They just don't." Robin says as Val chimes in, "or in any field." She said and Robin nods. "Good point, Evelyn." She says, nodding to her girlfriend.

"And we don't look the part or whatever. But can I tell you a story? 1978, I was at summer camp." The short haired girl says as her curly haired girlfriend admired her. "And my counselor Drew told me and everyone in Cabin C the true story of the Victor Creel Massacre. And little Petey McHew..." She paused to look at the other two girls to her right.

"You know Petey, right, Ruth, Eve?" She asked and Val looks at her, nodding. "Of... of course." Nancy answers as the Buckley looks back at Dr. Hatch. "Yeah. Little Petey McHew started sobbing right there on the spot. Full-on hyperventilating. And all the other campers couldn't sleep for weeks." She says as Val glanced over at the director.

"I couldn't sleep either, but not 'cause I was scared. Because I was obsessed with the question, what would drive a human being to commit such unimaginable acts? Other kids wanted to be astronauts, basketball players, rockstars. But I wanted to be you. I wanted to be you." Val's gaze on her girlfriend softened as she listens to her speech.

"So, forgive me if I'll now try anything in my power, including wearing this ridiculous outfit, if I might get to speak to the man that ignited my passion, and learn a little more about how his twisted, but let's face it, totally fascinating mind works. So, yes, we don't have the official paperwork, but don't tell me that cry-baby Petey McHew wouldn't have gotten an audience with Victor in a matter of moments if he'd asked politely, because you and I both know that he would." She says, finishing it off at that as Val let a small breath out and Nancy glanced at Dr. Hatch for his reaction.

"So... ten minutes with Victor. That's all I ask."

authors note just as it did the first time, this scene gave me literal chills, like the way robin says "i wanted to be you" idk if they meant something further, like a deeper meaning, than what robin was referring to, that man's job or being a man, not necessarily like being trans or anything, but like being able to be with a woman without being seen as a "freak" or a "town pariah", not to mention how badly women get treated anyway, as opposed to a man who is on society's better side, idk if it was but i interpret it that way
+ like same way she was like "what if we combined" to steve. :(