how you get the boy ✧ jaywon

004

this song's chapter:
idle town conan gray

Jungwon had met Jay only a few days ago. And— he didn't believe in fate or any of that bullshit— but he believed Jay was a gift. He had kept to himself his whole life, not expecting anyone to stick around. Because to him, nothing was worse than getting your hopes high and expecting something— anything from another being and ending up getting extremely disappointed by them. Because that is something that ultimately ruins you, right? He would rather be alone or lonely, as his mother would call him.

But Jay is different. He was more than okay with that.

"It feels like I've known you my whole life." Jay said, breaking the silence between them.

It had been two hours and they were still sitting on the uncomfortable rock, comfortably. They sat there, watching as the sun set in front of them, talking about God knows what— anything that came to their minds at that moment. Like— If they believed aliens were real, what their biggest fears were, or even stupid topics like— if they were a cat or dog person. And— Jungwon could confidently say that he hadn't felt this comfortable around someone in a very long time.

"Yeah, for me too." Jungwon replied, a soft smile appearing on his face.

He was starting to smile and laugh more around Jay, his body getting used to the feeling of being comfortable around him.

Jay returned the smile and hopped off the rock first. "Want to start heading back?"

Jungwon nodded, following behind Jay.

"I didn't say this earlier but um," Jay went on, "You could— You could use the rock or you could use me."

"Use you?"

"Well not use me— talk to me." Jay paused, "Scream at the top of your lungs at me when you need to."

"Oh," Jungwon hesitated for a moment, "Why are you being so nice to me?"

A confused frown appeared on Jay's face. "What?"

"I don't know. I mean, ever since I met you, you've only been nice to me. You didn't even know me—"

"Do I have a reason to not be nice to you?" Jay asked, scratching at his earlobe.

"I'm kinda a piece of shit, if you couldn't tell."

"No, you are not."

"You don't know me that well."

And there Jungwon was, ruining the great evening the two of them had— because that's what he did. Ruin things. Or so he had thought.

"Well, I would like to get to know you that well."

Jungwon swallowed what had felt like a lump in his throat.

A smile creeped up onto Jay's face. "I'm very persistent."

"Very." Jungwon said, biting on his bottom lip.

"And, Jungwon," Jay went on, "Nothing would scare me away."

Jungwon had never met anyone like Jay. He was different— a good different. He didn't know it then but Jay already meant a lot to him. And— he couldn't let himself mess things up. Not this time, self-sabotage.