how you get the boy ✧ jaywon

014

this chapter's song:
paper rings taylor swift

Jungwon huffed and looked into his bathroom mirror. Shit. He looked rough. His eyes were extremely puffy and red. His lips were swollen and throbbing from all the biting and picking he did. Jungwon was a mess and there was no way he could go to school looking like this— but sucks that he had to. He lazily brushed his teeth and splashed cold water onto his face, hoping the swelling would go down by the time he arrived at school. He tied his shoes and grabbed his backpack and swung it onto his shoulder. Jungwon let out a deep sigh before going downstairs, hoping his mother had already left for work.

"Jungwon," His mother spoke and Jungwon closed his eyes shut, "I made you lunch."

Fuck.

Jungwon didn't have the energy to argue with her, let alone even talk to her, "Why?"

His mother stepped closer before saying, "I know you like kimbap."

Jungwon pressed his lips together, not believing a word that came out of her mouth, "What is it?"

"Look," His mother interrupted, "I don't want you to see Jay anymore."

Jungwon's eyes shot up, pressing his lips together, "What?"

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be around him," His mother paused for a moment, "I don't think he's a good influence."

Jungwon didn't know if he was hearing the shit that was coming out of his mother's mouth correctly, "You think he's not a good influence? What does that even mean?"

"Sweetie, I just think you were fine before you met him."

Jungwon pressed his lips together in anger, "I don't think I was." He said, earning a sigh from his mother.

His mother swallowed before saying, "If I see you with him again, I will have to have a talk with his parents."

"What happened to you wanting me to make friends? Didn't we become friends because of you?" His mother fell silent and Jungwon let out a scoff, "Why are you doing this?"

"This is for you. For your own good."

"Bullshit. This is not for me," Jungwon hesitated, "This is for you, mom— because you can't accept the fact that your son likes a boy."

"My son does not—"

Jungwon interrupted, "Nothing you do is for me. I don't care what you say anymore. I don't care if I disappointed you or if you hate me now. I don't live for you anymore."

"What is that supposed to mean?" His mother asked, a frown appearing on her face.

"It means that for a while, I was living for you. For a while, I was putting your happiness and your life before mine because you were all I had," Jungwon hesitated for a moment, "You were all I had after dad died."

Tears streamed down his mother's face, "Don't."

"Don't what? I finally have another reason to live and you're trying to take that away from me. Face it, mom, you don't care about me— you only care about yourself. You have never once apologized sincerely to me. You have never sat down and asked me if I was doing okay. You pushed me to do things I was uncomfortable with, even after I told you I was uncomfortable. For once in my life, I am happy and doing well and I— feel loved. And— you can't take that away from me. You shouldn't and I won't let you."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Jungwon said and opened the door, turning around to look at his mother's face once more before closing the door shut. He huffed out before stepping down his porch steps and grabbed onto the straps of his backpack. He pulled the hood of his hoodie over his head and looked down at his shoes while walking. He felt the urge to rip the skin around his fingernails but he stopped himself when heard footsteps behind him.