how you get the boy ✧ jaywon

015

this chapter's song:
strong one direction

Unfortunately, for Jungwon, Jay was the first person who made him feel alive again. The first person to make him laugh until stomach pains and until his cheeks got sore from smiling so much. Jay was unexpected but consistent and beautiful. Jay was the feeling of seeing the leaves on trees change colors for the first time each year and the feeling of walking down a path with petals of cherry blossoms trees falling down, slowly but surely, surrounding you with their beauty. Jay was his and that was why it was unfortunate. Jay was painfully beautiful and Jungwon could spend forever like this— adoring Jay from beside him. But he knew this wasn't forever and he knew they were beautifully painful.

As easy as it may seem to love someone, there was a lot holding Jungwon back from loving Jay the way that he wanted to. And, Jungwon could say fuck it all and do what he wanted and love who he loves, but to him that was even scarier. That it was not as easy as it sounded in his head. So, he didn't know if he could ever tell Jay that he loved him. Because that would make the heartbreak more painful. That one day, all of this would be distant memories that he would relive only in his mind. He knew that just the thought could break him so he knew that he shouldn't waste his time worrying about the future when Jay was his in the present.

"Let me take you on a real date."

Jungwon looked up and turned his head to the side, "What's considered a real date? Dinner at a fancy restaurant?"

Jay let out a chuckle, "I don't know maybe something that's not Mcdonald's ice cream and sitting in my car at our neighborhood's pool parking lot."

"I know you love our car dates."

"I do but I would also like to take my boy out to an actual dinner." Jay said, lifting his eyebrows.

Jungwon pressed his lips together, into a soft smile and bit onto his bottom lip, "Okay, let's go on a real date."

"Okay." Jay said, smiling before pulling Jungwon closer and wrapping his arms around him.

Jungwon huffed out a chuckle and laid his head onto Jay's shoulder. Just the thought of them going on public dates made his stomach twirl and his heart beat quicker. He hoped that one day he could hold Jay's hand in front of the world and not worry about anything. That Jay could be his and not just when they're alone together but everywhere else.

"Are you sure that it's okay that I'm here?"

After many failed attempts at climbing the tree beside Jungwon's house, Jay had successfully made it onto the front panel of the roof and snuck into Jungwon's room from his window. It was something that Jungwon had only thought happened in movies and in books but no, a boy had just snuck into his room, the same way.

"My mom doesn't have to know anything," Jungwon paused for a moment, "And as long as we're being quiet she won't know."

"Okay." Jay whispered and laid his head on top of Jungwon's.

They stayed like that for a moment, feeling each other's fastened heartbeats against their warm bodies. Jungwon loved these moments just as much as he loved their talks and heart to hearts. He felt comfortable and loved in these silent moments where Jay would just hold him.