how you get the boy ✧ jaywon

025

Jungwon felt the cold air breeze through his body. He shivered and bit onto his bottom lip, shoving his hands in the pockets of his coat. It had gotten colder the past few days and although Jungwon loved the cold, he wasn't enjoying it very much in that moment.

He had felt that Jay was being more distant and straying further and further away from him. It was sudden and scary but Jungwon knew that he needed to be there for him now more than ever.

He couldn't bare to see the one person he loved the most in this world, feeling hurt and alone. This was the least he could do for Jay, especially when Jay was the person to do it for him.

Jungwon had walked across the street from his house and stood on Jay's porch, fiddling with the ring on his finger before knocking a few times and standing back in his heels. He puffed out his cheeks, cupping his face with his hands to gather warmth.

A woman stood there, wide eyed. Watching Jungwon closely as he bowed to her, "Hi, Mrs. Park, I'm here to see Jay."

She turned her head to look into her house before saying, "Please come in."

Jungwon couldn't help but feel guilty and bothersome. Jay's mother had just gone through a divorce and Jungwon was probably the last person she wanted to see.

Jungwon followed her inside and took off his shoes, "I'm sorry for coming all of sudden, I hope I'm not a bother."

It was the first time Jungwon had been inside of Jay's house. He looked around and saw frames of family photos and bookshelves filled with books. The space was dull and dark, Jungwon feeling some kind of eerieness.

She shook her head and gave Jungwon a painful smile, "You are not, dear. You must be so cold."

Jungwon returned the smile and said, "I'm okay."

"I see, would you like some tea?" She offered but Jungwon shook his head.

"I'm okay, but thank you."

"Jay is upstairs in his room. He hasn't been feeling well, we think it's because of the weather change."

Jungwon nodded before asking, "May I go up?"

"Sure." Jay's mother said, nodding before getting up to motion her hands near the stairs.

Jungwon walked up the stairs, into the hallway of doors. A small smile creeped up onto his face when he saw the door that had a Jay's room sign on it with a sticker of a cat holding a football. Jungwon hesitantly knocked on the door.

"Jay?" He knocked once more, "It's Jungwon."

"One sec," He heard rustling noises from inside the room and the door opened, "Hi."

Jungwon's eyes widened at the sudden abruptness. It had seemed like Jay had just woken up, his hair all messy and his eyes swollen.

"Hi." Jungwon smiled, walking into his room.

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd stop by for a bit. I missed you."

"I missed you too. Sorry, it's a mess— I haven't been able to clean up."

Jungwon shook his head and grabbed Jay's hand before saying, "Don't be sorry, it's okay."

"What are you doing here?" Jay asked again.

"You haven't been messaging me back and I saw that you weren't feeling good at school on Friday. I was worried."

Jungwon wanted to give Jay some space but since it was now Sunday afternoon and Jungwon hadn't heard from Jay since Friday morning, he was starting to get worrisome.

"Oh yeah, I was just feeling sick, that's all."

"Are you okay?"

Jay nodded, avoiding eye contact, "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

He let out a sigh, his soft smile fading, "Yes, Jungwon."

"Because you know I'm here for you."

"I know."

"No matter what— I'll always be here for you."

Jay looked at Jungwon and huffed out a sigh, "I know— I think I just want to be alone right now."

Jungwon felt his chest tighten up, "That's okay, I can leave."

"It has nothing to do with you or us so don't worry."

"I'm not worried about that— I'm worried about you."

"No need. I'm okay."

"Why are you being so cold right now?"

Jay let out a sigh, "I'm not trying to be."

"You would tell me if something was seriously wrong, right?"

"Yes."

"You're lying."

"Jungwon—"

"Promise me that you would talk to me. That you would come to be if you ever needed help." Jungwon felt desperate. "Promise me."

His voice was softer now, his eyes wavering, "Promise."

Jungwon nodded his head before turning his body to leave the room. He felt warm arms wrap around his body and let out a deep breath, finally being able to breathe. Jay rested his chin on Jungwon's shoulder before mumbling, "I'm sorry."

"I feel so lost like— like I'm losing myself."

Jungwon wiped the tears that were forming from his eyes and turned around. He cupped Jay's cheeks, "Hey," He bit the inside of his cheek before saying, "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Don't be sorry. I think I've just been super stressed about college and school. My parents' divorce. My dad. I just want to be happy but it seems like it's impossible. I've been skipping practice too."

Jungwon nodded, thinking about what he could say. "Your feelings are valid. You have every right to feel the way you do. You are going through so much and it may seem like it's impossible to get through right now but I know you can. You are so strong, I promise."

He didn't think he had it in him to be comforting someone else. To be able to be there mentally and physically for another person.

A soft smile appeared on Jay's face, "Thank you, my love. You always know what to say."

"You deserve to be happy always."

A smile curved onto Jay's face and he let out a soft giggle. He cupped Jungwon's face and leaned in and laid his lips on his. Jungwon missed this feeling.

"I can't believe I have to leave you behind."

"What do you mean? I'm sneaking myself in your suitcase." Jungwon said, earning a soft chuckle from Jay.

"Oh yeah? and live with me in my dorm?"

Jungwon nodded happily, "Duh."

"What would I do without you?"

"Well one, you would he Jungwonless. Which sounds terrible honestly."

"Sounds like the scariest nightmare." Jay fake shivers and Jungwon let out a laugh.

"I love you— I love you so much." Jungwon said and wrapped his arms around Jay, squeezing him.

"I love you more, my love."

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hi 😳
i am so sooo sorry it has been TOO long :(
a lot of you were patiently waiting for updates and asking so HERE I AM!!!! WOO!!!!

i also wanted to add that the next handful of chapters will be dark!

thank you all for your patience and for all the love! i appreciate it <3