My Vampire Mate

Chapter 8

I aletheia. The truth. 

I wouldn't have ever known what the book entailed if I didn't open it. 

It was a bit scary, talking of witchcraft, things I didn't even know existed and ultimately, vampires. 

"I recognise that book," Ruby said with squinted eyes as she inched closer to me, as if just seeing the book for sure. "Legends say it was written by a mad woman. It was selling like crazy in the 60's, but it got banned from the market for all its crap." 

Maybe a week ago I would've agreed with Ruby. But skimming through the book, I had doubts about the accusation about the author being crazy. This all could actually be real, but people denied it. That's what the author wrote in the preface. She was sure that humans would deny it, but she was also convinced that it was 'the truth'. 

She was exposed to the shadow world and tried to tell people about it. But when she was silenced because she was deemed 'crazy', she wrote a book, invested all her life savings in publishing it and got it to what she hoped was every book store. 

She only wanted to protect us--protect humans from the evil that she knew existed in the world. But they didn't believe her. 

Is there a specific reason why my dad chose to give me this book? Did he believe what she wrote? 

Maybe not. 

He was going into another episode when he gave me the book. Maybe he wasn't even sure what he was doing. 

Sighing, I skipped to where I knew I wanted to go, and I wasn't even surprised when the pain resurfaced. 

"Are you looking for something in particular?" Ruby asked in curiosity. 

I shrugged. "Not necessarily. I'm just bored," I lied as I causally skipped through everything the woman wrote about vampires, but I was looking for one word in particular. 

Ruby didn't seem convinced, but she knew better than to question me too much. Instead, she lightly pushed me so that I was laying down, and placed the cold rag over my forehead. 

The more I searched, the worse I felt, and when my eyes finally landed on the heading I'd been searching for, I dashed from bed and ran straight to my attached bathroom, where I hurled my whole breakfast and lunch in the toilet. 

I felt ill to my stomach--literally, and it really made me wonder if rejecting Drew would bring me relief, or more pain. It's just weird how the simple thought of it did this to me, and every step closer I got to learning how to reject him felt like I was being punished by the Grim Reaper instead. 

My mind went back to what Drew told me last night. He said that it would be better if I killed him instead of rejecting him, because the pain would be too much to bear. He was sure that rejection is only painless when both mates don't want each other, and since he knows I don't want him, he believed it would be painless for me. 

But hell, this was painful, and I hadn't even done it yet. Does this mean that I...want him? 

No. It doesn't make sense. 

This is not what I want. Drew is not who I want. 

So, why is my body telling me otherwise? 

"Oh my gosh you poor thing." Ruby rushed in behind me, immediately crouching down to rub my back. I wanted to scream. 

I no longer knew what to do. I thought rejecting Drew would do the trick, but I was starting to have doubts. I no longer knew what I wanted. I never suspected that this stupid mate bond would affect me, but it's obvious that it has, even though I haven't approved.