Vacation lover (Addison x reader)

13. What's really happening

Y/n pov

"How about we order some desert?" Edmund asks as they take away the dishes from the dinner. But just as i'm about to answer, my phone rings.

"Sorry, but order me some quesadillas." i answer instead as i rise from my seat, letting go of her hand that i was holding under the table. I look at the screen and see an unfamiliar number, so i walk away from the table and out on the terrace in the warm salty air.

"Hi, this is Y/n Mor..." i start with a professional tone but the voice on the other end cuts me off with an angry tone. It's Natalie

"You promised you'd call my teacher and you didn't, they called mom and now she's so pissed at me. She took my phone and grounded me"

"Then who's phone are you calling me from?" i don't even know why that was my question.

"Stevens, but that's not the point. You promised you'd talk to my teacher about it and you didn't, even Tony came over and gave me a lecture on it" Tony?... Ton... Anthony... my husband. Everything, every thought, every memory i've pushed away the last few days that i've spend with Addison comes crashing back down on me and i realise what i've done. I who started this vacation thinking it was his opportunity to cheat on me... and i end up spending the entire vacation sleeping with someone else. Oh shit... shit... shit.

"Gods i'm so sorry Natalie, i was distracted and then i..."

"Save it, i don't want to hear your lame excuses. Just know that i told mom what you promised to do and she's not happy with you either."

"Wait, you're trying to sell me out for something you asked me to do. Now i see those genes come from your father and not mom" i say and in my heart i know that was too far. But i still said it, and i meant it. Because it's true, but still too far.

"At least my dad died fighting for his country, not drowning at the end of a beer bottle." she says, my dad isn't even dead but he is still growing in the same beer bottle as he did when i was a kid.

"You know, you dug your own grave. Don't come crying to me when you realise you get out"

"I hate you y/n, i wish mom had learned to use protection in high school. Then I wouldn't be stuck with you as my sister" and she hangs up. Leaving me with a tear slipping down my cheek, a tear that's quickly dried by the warm wind. And even though i could say the same thing about her, my life would be easier if she had never been born. My phone buzzes again and i look at the screen. My heart starting to shatter at the name.

Tones❤❤

Hi love, hope everything is going great and i hope you're having fun with your new friends. I was just checking which time i should pick you up at the airport tomorrow

It's like a i can't breathe anymore. What have i done? That's the question i want answers to but the actual answer isn't something i regret. She's made me feel so alive, so... just so much things i never even thought existed outside fairy tales.

The plane leaves at 5 pm and but i won't be in Boston until 6 am the next day. I can take a cab so that you don't have to stress that early in the morning.

And because i don't want to see him the first thing i do. The plane will first land in Cleveland and there we will all jump on our separate planes and go home. Well i'll be on the same plane as Zoe as she's also going to Boston but that's not the point. It will be less than two hours since i let go of Addison's hand... if that's even how it'll go. I don't know anything anymore. Everything i was so sure of only a few minutes ago is uncertain.

Nonsense, i'll pick you up. We have some things to talk about anyways. I love you and enjoy the last day

I can't even answer that. I don't know what to do, or what to say to this. This has ruined my life, the life that i always dreamed of and only missed one thing. Before i left we were talking about having a kid... knowing how late it is for that but still, we wanted to try. Now i'm not so sure that he's the one i want to do it with. He's my husband... i should want my family with him but there is nothing in my heart that tells me that, only in my head because it would be the right thing to do.

What have i done?

Addison pov

"Are you okay?" i finally ask as i stop us her from walking past my door.

"Yeah, i'm fine" she answers but still won't look at me.

"Y/n, you won't even look at me and you've been quiet ever since that phone call, i know something happened. Just tell me what it is" and to think that her quiet scares me. She looks around so i pull her into my hotel room that's become more hours than just mine. "Tell me"

"It was Natalie who called..." and my heart gets stuck in my throat as everything comes flooding down. "Then i got a text... from Anthony. What are we doing Addison"

"I... i..." i have no words to it as i myself realise what it is we have done.

"We both knew it was wrong to begin with and we shouldn't have done any of it" she says and finally meets my gaze, but there is something in it that tells me the opposite.

"I know... but i don't regret it, i don't regret a single thing we have done." i admit the truth, because i don't.

"It is still wrong"

"Everything about us is wrong y/n, but we still became an us." i put my hands on her cheeks and felt the wetness of her tears. "Do you regret it"

"Never" a small sad smile comes upon her lips and even though i now know what's really happening, i still pull her face closer to mine. Letting out slips touch each other in a soft kiss.

"Can we figure this out, together?"

"Together" and i pull her into a hug and hold her tight as she holds me tighter.

"We'll figure all this out and everything will be okay, i promise"

As we both are in bed, cuddled up next to each other we actually figure it all out. Well as well as one can in this situation. Because i'm pretty sure it's not something one can search up as it's not really a normal situation we're in.

But we were both to fly home to our respective homes, her to Boston and me to New York. There we will try to go back to our lives, try our best. But if that doesn't work and we can't go back to how it was... we'll take it from there, together. The only uncertain thing in that plan is the fact that we'll both be working and the chance of us getting lost in the OR are quite big. There are two possible outcomes of that, one is that we are too focused on the surgeries and bury ourselves in work and forget the original plan. Or the second which is where we are too focused and distracted by the mere thought of each other to even do the surgeries and that could cost someone their lives. We both know that this is a risky game we're playing but i know it's worth it in the end.

There are these unknown factors, these unknown feelings neither of us have felt before and we have no idea of what they could cause.