𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

♥ ♥ ♥

𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

In two hours, I'll be at the drive-in with Nora. Our relationship has gotten worse. She would disagree, but she doesn't fear that her significant other will hit her. She has manipulated me into believing she loves me. Some days, she's the same girl I fell in love with, but those days seemed to disappear over time.

Nora adores kids. She was envious of Vera's pregnancy. Whenever I tell her I don't want children, she spirals. Her anger consumes her. She's not the same person. She makes me feel incompetent for not wanting children. I've voiced that I didn't want children at the beginning of our relationship. She gets violent when I don't compromise with her. I've reached a point where it's not the violence that scares me. The fear of not being loved scares me the most. I crave the feeling of being loved by someone, even if it hurts me.

♥ ♥ ♥

I parked my car in front of Nora's house. I felt my skin crawl. I feel filled with angst. Today, I'm telling the girl I loved that everything we have is over. Her front door opened. Nora approached the car with a black strapless shirt and grey sweatpants. My heart sank from my chest when I saw the alluring smile on her face. Her smile made today even more difficult. The car door opened, and she slipped into the passenger seat. She tied her hair back into a pony. Her eyes sparkled under the car light. My heart raced in my chest.

Nora placed her hand on mine. She asked, "Is everything alright?" I turned the key in the ignition and pulled onto the road. I answered, "Yeah. I just wanted to take you out tonight." Nora smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder.

She muttered, "You clean up well, Russo."

I smirked. I responded, "And you look exquisite tonight, Nora." She blurted out, "I'm wearing a crop top and sweatpants. This outfit isn't exquisite, Roman."

She wrapped her arm tightly around mine. I reassured her, "You look beautiful either way." Blush rushed over her cheeks. Nora leaned toward me and placed a kiss on my cheek. I've tried to talk myself out of leaving Nora. I still see that same amazing girl inside of her. I remind myself that she's hurt me multiple times. Emotionally and physically.

I remind myself of the pain she's put me through.

She destroyed a part of me the day she beat me. She left bruises on my ribs and a permanent scar across my heart. She made me feel defenseless. I was afraid of the woman who promised to love me. She broke my soul. I still loved her after what she did, but I could never forgive her. I can't stand by her anymore. Nora made me believe love can be painful, but I never expected to be abused. I experienced love and fear with her. Nora has taught me that abuse is a form of manipulation and power. It's hidden under a mask of love that doesn't exist above the surface. Love shouldn't be violent.

I pulled into the drive-in. I let out a breath of relief. Nora caressed the palm of her hand down my arm. She exclaimed, "Is everything alright? You've seemed timid all night." I pulled the key out of the ignition and chuckled, "You already asked that, and I already answered it. I'm fine, Nora. Trust me."

She smiled.

We sat silently throughout the movie. We bought snacks and drinks from the stands. Astraea was working tonight. I approached her before the movie ended. I've contemplated giving Nora another chance at redemption. She's full of life. Tonight, she's been comforting me. It feels almost surreal.

Astraea pulled me aside before I went back to the car. She seemed timid. Rea exclaimed, "Please tell me you're not changing your mind." I told her, "Rea. I love her."

"The girl you love died. She doesn't exist anymore. She is a master at manipulating. She acts as if she loves you, but she still hurts you worst every time."