𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

TW: This epilogue contains strong topics that could be sensitive to some readers. Please check the trigger warnings in the author's note. <3

♥𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐋𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫♥

𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞

Dear Diary,

Today is November 10th, 2000.

I haven't written in this journal for a while. A lot has happened in these three years.

I learned I was pregnant a year into Roman and I's relationship. I was afraid I'd be a terrible mother. I also felt my nerves tense at the thought of telling Roman. Before we dated, he stated he never wanted kids for fear of becoming a terrible father.

He proved himself wrong and became an incredible father to our son.

I waited until it was impossible to hide the pregnancy to tell Roman. It wasn't one of my best decisions. I told Hestia and Astraea first. Then Antonio and Hera overheard a conversation I had with Sia. They all agreed not to tell Roman. It was my responsibility to inform him. I was preparing myself for the moment Roman would break up with me. We never discussed having children. All we wanted was to travel. The day I told Roman, my heart raced, and I had sweaty palms. All my nerves were kicking my ass.

After I told him, I felt a weight lifted off my shoulders. I was still afraid of his response. I blurted it out while we were driving to dinner in Rome. I didn't want to wait any longer. The nerves were eating me alive. I already made the mistake of telling everyone else besides him. He was silent for the rest of the car ride. We arrived at the restaurant, and he avoided eye contact with me. He took a couple of deep breaths before exclaiming, "Why didn't you tell me?" I told him that I was afraid. I knew his circumstances. He reassured me that he wouldn't leave me because I was pregnant. Roman was angrier that I didn't tell him. He apologized to me. I screwed up, not him. I instantly corrected him, but he wanted me to feel as if I could trust him enough to tell him everything. We spent almost an hour and a half in the car discussing our relationship. Our relationship continued to bloom after that milestone. We talk to each other about anything. After I had our son, we chose to get matching tattoos of each other's names on our wrists.

I went into labor on May 23rd, 1999. I was scared. For a while, I thought the contractions were regular until they became less than five minutes apart. Roman was in Sicily for a business trip, and Hestia was with her boyfriend in Verona. Antonio drove me to the hospital. I'll never forget his words before we left.

"Blaire, get your goddamn ass in the car. The dishes can wait. You're so stubborn. Let's hope that baby doesn't inherit your stubbornness."

Hera called the Hestia and Roman. Sia drove to the hospital. Roman took the next flight out of Sicily. Hera picked him up at the airport. Lucky for him, I was in labor for five more hours. Hestia was the first one to arrive at the hospital. It was late at night, and I could tell she was tired. Each time, I told her to sleep, but Sia refused. She wanted to be by my side the whole time. She arrived two hours earlier than Roman. When Roman got to the hospital, he was timid. He was more terrified than I was. I caved to the pressure and took the epidural. I've been terrified of needles for my whole life, and this was no different. It took two attempts, but it finally kicked in. Roman and I spent two months preparing a room for the baby. We completely forgot to pick out a name.