𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲

♥ ♥ ♥

𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞

Dear Diary,

Today is June 20th, 1997.

Tonight is my and Hestia's last night in Milan. We leave for Sicily tomorrow morning. I scheduled a meeting with Devon. I felt a chill down my spine, even thinking about it. I've never been scared to die, but I'm terrified of leaving my best friend. Hestia is all I have left. She's my life source.

Hestia Garmez is the only person who has stayed. She's seen my bad days and my good days. We've shared our hell. We couldn't live without each other. I wouldn't survive in a world without her.

I love you, Sia.

It's been three days since I've seen Roman. He had every right to be angry with me. Even if the feelings were mutual, we wouldn't work. We're two different people. I spared his life, knowing Devon would kill me. Roman didn't care if I lived or died after that night. I don't blame him. I was seconds away from killing him. Everything Sia and Alessio taught me went out the window.

I went against the biggest lesson Alessio ever taught me.

"Never let love get you killed. We have killer instincts that die if love intervenes. Don't let love be your weakness."

I let Alessio down. Again. I fell in love and let it become my weakness. I'll always have a killer instinct I earned when I was thirteen, but the child in me will let people in because all she wanted was to feel loved. Once people started dying around me, I didn't care who I let in. All I wanted was love and affection, even if it hurt.

The Universe has taught me one lesson I never understood until I met Roman. Fate exists. He was my fate. He was the person who lifted me when I was down. He was there for me after Alessio died. He opened his arms to me and gave me the love and affection I craved as a kid. He gave me the feeling of life. I didn't feel like I was an immoral person around him. I felt human. I wasn't a killer anymore. I was just Blaire Allaire. We saved each other in ways neither of us could comprehend.

I fell in love. That was my mistake.

I need relief. I need comfort. I wish I could stop feeling pain or emotions.

Hestia tells me that relapsing isn't an answer, but it feels like it is.

Sincerely Blaire Allaire,

♥ ♥ ♥

I closed my journal and let out a deep breath. I opened the wine cooler and popped open a bottle. Hestia sat in front of me with her eyes shot at me. The glance in her eyes always terrified me. She folded her hand and blurted out, "No boy is worth drinking your life away. I'll talk with Devon, and then we'll leave. If you can't handle killing Roman, I'll do it. Your life is more important than some guy you met six months ago." I poured a cup of wine into the glass and sighed, "I let my feelings get in the way, and that's my mistake. I'll pay for the consequences. But for now, I need a drink to relieve my nerves."

Hestia grabbed the glass and exclaimed, "You're falling apart. I will not let you get killed over that boy. If I have to kill him, I will. I love you more than anything, and I can't watch you mope around like this." She paused and then continued, "I'd kill a whole city of people before I let anyone put their hands on you. You're all I have left."