The Sun in My Eyes

49 Making a Shelter for a Flame

Fen is mantra-ing, Lili is bad copping, and Bobby is discovering who Lili is. That's what's up.

TW: There are mentions/references to DV, drug abuse, child neglect, and inference of suicide. It's not detailed, but they are brought up.

** 

Four days flew by way too fast.

Lili watched Isla everyday while Bobby got the grinder repaired–again– and ground the coffee for the day. She encouraged him to make a list of pastries that were easier and less time consuming than the delicate, difficult ones he'd been making. He even built a monthly schedule of what he planned to make each day so he could get his ingredients weekly, instead of wasting time by shopping daily. He even added a rotation of simple vegan cookies that could be easily stored, so he'd only have to worry about them once a week. It was all manageable now.

Outside the shop, his days were spent talking to Lili, playing with Isla, and baking. It was as close to heaven as Bobby could imagine. Well, heaven for a few days anyhow.

Before Bobby even opened the door to his flat, he could hear Isla's wails. He stepped inside to quite a scene.

"Want da and dada!" Isla screamed, tears streaming down her face. Lili was attempting–and failing–to wrestle the wriggly, shrieking toddler into a new nappy.

"I know you do, muñequita," she said, sounding exhausted. "They're coming back tonight, like."

Bobby dropped his bag and rushed over. He knelt and gently nudged Lili aside. Her shoulders sagged with relief as he took over.

"She's had a proper cob on since she woke up. It's been one meltdown after another, and I haven't been able to get her down for a nap..."

"God, I'm sorry." Once he got Isla into the nappy, he scooped her up, bouncing her as she sobbed her little heart out. "I'm tagged in now, so you can leave the ring. We'll figure out lunch after you've had a rest." She nodded but stayed there, hesitating.

"Liliana, go and take a break," he said.

She gave him a tired laugh. "Okay, now I get the Robert thing."

"It's hot, right?" He waved her off and she disappeared into the bedroom.

Isla, who had quieted, suddenly dialled up the despair. "Want da to sing me!"

Aww. She missed Louis's singing. Bobby made sure to video call them for her every night so she could see them, but obviously it wasn't enough.

"I know, you want that darlin'," he said, holding her close. "They're going to be here tonight."

"No!" Isla punched him in the face with her tiny fists. "Now now now!"

"Hey there, that is Uncle Bobs' money maker. That is not how we handle our feelings, is it?"

"No. I sorry. Sorry!" She collapsed against him in a puddle of misery. "Daddies!" she wailed.

"It's alright." He soothed her and eventually she calmed to hiccups and sniffles, but she was on that toddler alert where anything could set her off, so he needed to get her to take that nap. "Want to watch Balamory?"

She nodded wearily. He stretched out on the couch with her still on his chest and rubbed her back with one hand as he found her show with the other. She turned her head as the intro began. He sang along quietly to the song, and soon, she joined in.

Balamory! Balamory!

What's the story in Balamory, wouldn't you like to know?

Isla didn't even make it halfway to the episode before she fell asleep. Which was a right blessing, because the show was nearly unwatchable unless you were still in nappies. He gently carried her to her crib in the bedroom. Lili was stretched across his bed, her face buried in his pillow, snoring softly. He laid Isla in the crib, and then sat on the edge of the bed. He tucked a frizzed curl back into Lili's ponytail and just looked at her. She was taking so much stress off him, by putting it on herself. Did she truly know how much he appreciated it?