The secret ingredient

Chapter 11

Bla bla bla.

The End.

I type and laugh at myself.

I am still not finished with my perfect ending. I really don't know what my problem is. Why is it so hard for me to finish my book? I've sat on it for at least a year. It can't be just because I'm still grieving for my mom; it can't be because of that.

I close my laptop and look around my apartment.

That was enough typing -actually only deleting- for today; my fingers feel sore.

,,Just try it. It doesn't even have to be him, if that's the problem,,

Jimmy's words repeat in my head. You could even say they're haunting me. It's all I've been thinking about since we made the promise.

All of a sudden I get an idea. I pull out my phone and open the App Store and tap on Search and type in Tinder. Pathetic.

If you had told me that i'd download Tinder someday, I would have laughed in you face and told you that that shit is too corny for me. No hate to the people that use it though, I just find it weird; paying for an app and meeting up with total strangers after only texting them. No thanks.

I've seen all Fake-Dating-Accounts-Documentaries that exist, to say I know some of the users are just some creepy ass men -maybe even women- who want to do god knows what to you; probably kill you.

I click on the app and it's asking me for my account and personal information. I can not believe I'm going to pay for this shit. I start to type in my name and gender.

This going to be interesting.

***

A few hours ago I ended up deleted the app after making my profile. I was so anxious seeing all those men and then I deleted it. My profile is hopefully none existent now, since i deleted the app from my phone. I really hope so. Even though I used an old picture of myself and at that time I was a little chubbier and instead of brown hair I had dark blonde hair, you can still recognize me. That picture was taken three months before my mom died, that's why I look so happy in it and that's why I chose it. Actually, I had to choose it because it's the most recent picture of me on my phone; I don't take pictures of myself anymore.

,,Daisy, that's your third coffee today, don't you want to sleep tonight?,, Elijah asks me, putting my third coffee on my table.

,,Oh no, I don't need sleep, I need to finish my book and I've only got a half year left and I didn't even finish it after one year. So the answer is clearly no.,, I say taking a sip of my coffee.

He looks at me ,,Daisy, I want to ask you something,, he says putting his hands on my table and leaning down to me.

I feel my heart beating faster and faster through my chest ,,Uh sure but make it quick.,, I manage to say.

,,How did you meet Jimmy?,, He asks.

Oh. I wasn't expecting that question ,,I... Why do you want to know?,, I stare at him. I don't want to bring up my mother because she was actually the reason I know Jimmy.

,,It's just the only person I see you with is Jim. And I was curious for a while now,, He raises an eyebrow at me.

He's so nosy about everything all the time ,,I know him because of.. Because- I actually don't think it's any of your business, Elijah. I don't even know you for that long.,, I take a sip out of my coffee.

He sighs ,,Stay mysterious. I'm going to find out anyway. It's not like Jimmy isn't going to tell me,, He takes a glimpse behind me and then looks back at me.

I really don't want to bring her up right now. Not to him.

He winks at me with that flirty expression on his face.

He leans down to me and just smiles at me. I don't like what he's doing to me. I need to look at something else. Now.

I look down at his arms and down to his hands. Oh my god. His hands and arms. Those veins. Fuck. His veins are so visible, and it makes his arms and hands look so muscular. Shit. I notice a really big scar on the back of his right hand. I have the urge to brush my fingers over it. Maybe even ask where he got it from.

I blink and look back at his face ,,Just leave me alone, I need to work.,, I say.

He nods, turns away but immediately turns back to me ,,Oh and, Daisy?,,

Dude, leave me alone you will make me lose my mind. I roll my eyes and look at him ,,Yeah?,,

He smiles and says,  ,,I work out quite a lot. Especially my arms. That's why my veins are showing,, he just leaves.

My eyes grow wide and I slap my hands over my face. This is so embarrassing. Of course he saw me staring.

I stand up and walk to the restroom. I need to calm down. I need to be far away from him.

I turn on the water and wash my face. The cold water is cooling my burning red cheeks down. This man is doing things to me that I weirdly enjoy but also hate at the same time.

Why is he so good at making me feel embarrassed all the time?

I want to run into my apartment and lock myself in there for the rest of my life. But my story isn't finished. Whatever, I'm going to drink my coffee as fast as I can and then I'll get out of here. I don't want to see his face again; I can't look at him after that. I'm fucking embarrassed now.