The secret ingredient

Chapter 21

Yesterday was a tough day, but today is a new day and I'm trying to make the best out of it. Later I'm going to visit Jim but before I do that I want to look up on Elijah. Poor guy. I don't think he went to so Jim yesterday.

I put my hair up with a clip and feed my cat before knocking on Elijah apartment door.
One knock. Nothing.
Second knock. Nothing.
Third knock. Still nothing.

I lean down to a plant and see a key. Too easy, Elijah, too easy.
I put the key into the key hole and swing open his door. Oh my, shit.

His entire apartment is a mess, to say the least. Broken glass on the floor, a thrown chair and a punch hole in the wall.
,,Elijah!,, I wait for him to come out of his bedroom. But he doesn't.

I knock on the door and open it. I see Elijah lying in his bed. Sleeping. I walk up to him but notice a picture of him as a teenager with other kids, they all look so much alike, probably his siblings. Two girls. But.. Wait- I don't know if I am tripping but I see Elijah in this picture two times. One of his sisters looks just like him.. They look just the same. Then it hits me. He's a twin. Wow.
I wonder if she's just like Elijah and if his twin is also this close to Jim as we are. They never come to visit.

Stop, Daisy. This is none of your business. I set the picture down and sit on Elijah's bed. Just starring at him. His beautiful side profile is immaculate. He's so breathtaking even while he's asleep.

He moves and I stiff. He turns to me and rubs his eyes. ,,Daisy? Wha.. What are you doing here?,, his voice sounds concerned. ,,You okay?,, Elijah immediately sits up and grabs my arms tightly.

I touch his cheek, "Relax. I'm fine." Wich is halfway true. "Are you fine? Saw your living room." My hand trails to his. I want him to tell me how he's doing. What he's thinking, feeling.

He shuts his eyes and takes a deep breath. ,,Daisy. Look, I need to tell you something but I don't know if I can. If I should.,,

Ugh, why does everybody have to tell me shit these days? That's not what I expected him to say. I frown, "Elijah, what do you mean? Of course I want you to tell me whatever you are hiding from me. Like Jim, I know it now and I wished he told me earlier."

He licks his bottom lip. Thinking of what he should say next. ,,Yeah.. Okay. But now you have to promise me to not get mad.,, he hold his pinky up to me. ,,Promise me, D.,,

Get mad? Wow, I didn't think it was this serious. I hook my pinky with his and nod. ,,I won't.,,

He sits up and his hand goes over his face. ,,Remember the day Jim collapsed for the first time? I was with him. And when we went to the hospital he also got checked..,, Elijah takes a quick stop.

What the fuck is he telling me? I don't know what to do with this Information. I knew they were in the hospital. Did he forget? I just nod to make him get to the point.

,,And after a while of that entire check up, we finally got the results. I was waiting in the hall and the nurse got out of the room. She gave me a petrifying look. The doctor said 'After we did the tests and checkups we had to make a shocking discovery. We saw that something was off with his results. And we found out that there was a Tumor spread in his lungs. I'm sorry to tell you that Mister Adoria has stage 2 lung cancer.' And that's when I  found out. Daisy, I knew it already. Fuck, Im so so sorry, if I could go back I would have told you the moment I knew."

I say nothing. I get nothing out of me. No tears. No reaction. No disappointment. I do want to leave and never talk to him again, but I promised him not to get mad. He knows I won't break my pinky promise. Why is everyone so protective of me by keeping secrets from me? I'm hella confused though. ,,I wasn't expecting this. Why didn't you just tell me?,,

He laughs sarcastically ,,Why didn't I tell you? Are you serious? Daisy when I told you that he fainted you already cried rivers. You think I could just rip your heart open more that moment? I couldn't. The pain in your eyes, shattered me. So when me and Jim found out he had cancer, he asked me not to tell you. I told him I won't. I tried so hard to protect you from all the pain even though I couldn't handle my own. I couldn't imagine a life without Jim. So I swore to myself that you would never going to find out about this. But eventually you did find out. For the billionth time, Daisy, I am so sorry.,,

That was rough. Too much to find out in less than a week. I stare blankly at him ,,Well, do you think I'm mad right now?,,

He looks at me, trying to read me. He shrugs ,,I don't know. Maybe you are. You tell me.,,

,,No. I'm not mad. Of course I am sad that everyone around me knew except for myself but I am not mad at you nor Jim. But I feel more shocked that I didn't find out that you weren't doing okay. I feel like shit, always and I hate that you feel like drawing a smile over your face whenever you see me just so I could be okay. I hate it. Therefore, I apologise that I was so focused on myself all this time.,, I go over to him and hug him tightly. His hand on my lover back and waist gives me goosebumps.

He releases me and just takes the moment in. ,,I love you.,,

I shake my head with a smile. ,,Come on, Elijah. No. Please.,,

,,I know you want this too. Don't walk away from us, Daisy. You got me and I will protect you with all my life and everything I have. Love me the way I love you and I'll make your days better, I promise it.,, his voice so softly pleasing me.

My head falls to his chest as he strokes my hair. ,,Shit Elijah. You have something that made me fall in love with you too.,,
There it is. I said it. And this is what I have been avoiding all this time. Love.

But I found it, in you, Elijah. I will love you with all I have. You are all I want. All this time.