Youngsters Unmasked

Unforgiveable

***ACE POV***

''You are the one that said you needed a break Ace not me. You've been back from wherever you were for almost three days now and you barely said two words to me. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"You're really asking me that?" I said walking to the kitchen. 

"Yes I wanna know and stop walking away from me. Cant we have a civilized conversation for once?" she said shouting at me. 

"Are you stupid Ashley?" I said stopping in my tracks and turning to face her. "Did you forget what you did to me? Do you remember those nights when I wanted to come home and I couldn't because I couldn't bare to look at you? Were you suddenly diagnosed with amnesia or something?" 

"Oh my fucking god. How long ago was that Ace? Are you going to always hold that over me? I thought we had move pass that."

"Yes maybe you have." I said taking a seat on the kitchen counter. 

"I said I was sorry baby." She said walking over to where I was and gently placing her hand on my face. 

"A 'simple sorry' does not fix everything ok and I really don't know if I can trust you anymore. I tried to put that shit behind me but I can't." 

"So what are you saying then? Do you need another break is that it?" Or better yet maybe we need to get away babe. Let us go on a cruise on something." She said looking in my eyes.

"I don't know anymore Ashley. A cruise? really? I don't think that will make a difference."

"We wont know until we try baby, we can fix this. I know we can." She said holding on to my hand. A part of me genuinely still loved this girl. We've been through so much together but every time I remembered what she did it was like a huge hurdle, one that I could not jump over or walk around. I know we all made mistakes and I wasn't a saint either but that was unforgivable to me. Since then our relationship has not been the same.

I'd occasionally find myself lying awake in bed at nights thinking about what she did. Questioning myself if I wasn't good enough or If I could've been there for her some more.

My insecurities came alive whenever I thought about it and I knew that shit was not healthy for my mental. Why would you say you're a lesbian and then mess around with a whole man? I should've left her when it happened, because If I did I would not have to battle with these unnecessary emotions and I certainly would not have to be dealing with this shit right now.

"Say something Ace?" she said disrupting my thoughts.

"I don't think I can do this anymore Ashley. I love you but I cant. I fucking can't."  

"What are you saying Ace?" She said staring in my eyes.

"You know what I'm saying Ashley. Don't let this be any harder than it has to be." 

"You don't love me. How can you say you love me and you're not even willing to try and let us fix things? Do you think that's love? Do you think that's fucking love." She said wiping the tears that was now running down her face. Why was she doing this to me? Why was she letting me feel like I was a bad person for wanting to leave? She was the reason for all of this. 

"Stop the crying Ashley because I'm sure you saw this coming. Ever since that day things have not been the same and you know this. I just cant do it anymore." 

"Its not that you cant you just don't want to."

"You know what Ashley maybe you're right, maybe I don't want to. And you need to stop acting like you're the fucking victim here ok. You knew what you were doing when you invited that nigga inside our crib. So don't sit here acting like I did something wrong. You fucking did. Get the hell out of my face." I uttered angrily while jumping from off the counter.