Bittersweet | Jaspar Fanfic

(14): CONFESSIONS TO A STRANGER

- Caspar's P.O.V

The way I was feeling towards Joe at the moment were the strongest feelings I've ever felt in a very long time; even if I didn't 100% understand how I felt.

I felt as if I wanted to be the reason he smiled. I felt like hugging him and holding him to my chest, hoping to make him feel safe, and never letting him go. I felt like I always wanted to be there with him; and speak to him, and be by his side.

I wanted him.

We stayed close for a while; Me with my arms around him, and him clawing at my shirt as he cried and wailed things I did not understand.

I started to tell him to try and breathe.

I've never had a breakdown like this, but I've watched an episode in Teen Wolf where Lydia kisses Stiles during a Panic Attack, saying that if you held your breath you could calm down.

Obviously, I couldn't kiss him. That'd probably make him slap me, or rum away, or something. I still don't even know his sexuality, so that might creep him out.

But I did give him directions; telling him to breath in and out as slow and deep as he possibly could, hoping it would make him start crying.

After a little while longer, it seemed to work because Joe escaped from my arms and scooted over a bit, leaning against the wall.

"I-I'm sorry," He whispered.

Joe pulled his sleeves down and over his hands, wiping the tears away from his face with them.

I stared at him, a sad overcoming me.

"Why would you apologize?" I asked, causing him to look over at me, his hair a wild mess, and his eyes rimmed red and puffy.

"I don't want to be a burden," he replied.

"Joe, you were crying your eyeballs out, I thought you were going to explode or something. I would never leave someone in a situation like that."

Joe looked down at the floor, running a hand through his messy hair. "I never have anyone to help me when I cry. I have Zoe, but she...she's mad at me, and.." his voice trailed off, and I fought the urge to hold him again.

"It's fine if you don't want to talk to me about it," I said. "I won't force you to."

He stared down at the floor again for a few moments, wiping his face again before looking back at me.

"Do I look fine?"

Beautiful.

"Yeah," Was all I replied with. "you look fine."

He smiled softly and told me that he wanted to go back into class. I walked in before him, sort of shielding him so no one looked at him.

Some people, like Charlie McDonalds, did look; but lucky not many people stared.

Mrs. Farry just gave us busy work as usual, but since we spent about the whole period outside, we didn't get it because once we got to our seats; the bell rang.

"Hey," I said to Joe as we walked outside, my heart thumping fast. "If you ever need someone to be there for you, I'm here, and I care about you. Remember that."

He didn't reply to me at all.

He just sped off, making me think of how confusing everything was at the moment.

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+ Joe's P.O.V