Bittersweet | Jaspar Fanfic

(19): DIRTY LITTLE SECRET(S)

+ Joe's P.O.V

When I woke up, my head was pounding and it took a few moments for my vision to click into place before I felt someone's hand squeeze mine and heard a gigantic, relieved, sigh exiting their body.

I looked over and saw Zoe, who wasn't crying but looked on the urge of it.

I sat up fast and looked around, ignoring the queasy feeling in my stomach and the throbbing in my head. I was in the Nurse's office...again.

Groaning, I slapped my face with my palm, memories of what happened drowning my brain. I had passed out over a huge anxiety attack - all because of Caspar. Well, technically Marcus, but it was about Caspar.

"I'm so pathetic," I whispered to Zoe, feeling sadness take over me.

She took in a deep breath, not saying anything.

"No wonder dad hates me..."

"Joe, you just need a little help, that's all."

I sniffed, bringing up my arm wiping my nose on it which felt strangely stuffy for some reason. "You don't even know what happened."

Zoe was silent again and I moaned, throwing my head back and shutting my eyes.

I would be better off not living, really.

"You need serious help, Joe."

I turned my head towards Zoe, bitterness filling me. "I know that. But our dearest momsie left and our darlingest Popsicle doesn't even give two shits about me."

I let my hands do a little dance until I got to 'doesn't' letting them drop to my side and glare at her. The little bed they had here was so uncomfortable, and the thin paper crinkling under my shoes was annoying as hell. The walls didn't help much, either. They were a happy bright yellow, and when I looked at them it burned my eyes.

"I'll take you to someone myself, then..." She said. "I'll tell the school!" She stood up and was about to walk out but I let out a strangled yell, causing her to look back at me with a shocked face.

"No, Zoe!" I said sharply, reaching my hand out and grabbing her wrist.

"Excuse me!"

I turned my head to see the Nurse who was looking at Zoe with a glare; holding a clip board in her arms and stomped over to my sister fast, looking down at her.

"Why did you not come and get me when he awoke?" She demanded, taking a hand from her clipboard and putting it on her hip. "You told me you would! Now look at what you're doing, making him stressed!"

The Nurse grabbed Zoe by her arm, who looked more than slightly annoyed.

"Get back to class -"

"He's my brother!"

"- NOW."

The Nurse dragged her out of the door and pushed her out, standing there until Zoe probably finally left before turning to the inside of her office and letting out a sigh.

"Well, hello Joe!" She said, walking over to me with a smile on her face. She probably didn't want to cause me 'stress'. "How do you feel?"

With Zoe not threatening to tell the School about my problems with attacks and other things, I finally noticed how much my head hurt and how my stomach felt a little queasy.

"Bad headache...kind of a queasy feeling in my stomach."

The Nurse nodded and grabbed her chair which she rolled over to a spot near the bed I was sitting on. "Now, Joe, sit up as if you are in a chair in front of me, and I'll check your heart rate and all that other stuff!"