Bella,
My writing you may come as a surprise to you, but I have some things I need to get off my chest. It's been a year since I left you by that fountain and not a day goes by where I don't think about your face as I left. It broke me to see you that broken. a part of me wanted to turn back and make it right, that part of me being my heart. My head knew that time apart was good for us. For the first time in 8 months, I was my top priority, I put me first. It felt good. The last time I saw you I told you I thought it wouldn't be the end of us and I lied. There cannot be a me and you anymore. We both need to find real love, a love that doesn't mean sneaking around, lying, and almost losing those closest to us. Bella you almost lost your mom, I could never forgive myself if she did decide to never talk to you again and that was my fault. You need someone who can love you and can show those around you that. Promise me that you will try and find that, please don't wait for me. I won't be coming. Know that I did love you once and that I did think I was coming back to you.
Our time together will never be forgotten it will live on in my literature. Writing was one of the only things to bring me peace when my heart was trying to override my brain. 'Letters to a lost lover' soon manifested itself from my writings. a collection of things I wanted to say to you but couldn't. You were my inspiration for so long but now it's time to let you go. Go be someone else's muse, go inspire someone else to achieve their dreams. Go be you.
You should know this is the last time you will hear from me. you deserved closure and I hope you get that from this letter and those poems I wrote for you. It's time to move on now. Good luck and farewell Bella Wilson.
Fin.
Fin,
It hurts to know that you aren't coming back to me and what we had. It also hurts that it took you a year to contact me again. Your poetry was beautiful but so painful to me. I knew you had a talent for writing and I am so proud the world gets to see that now. I was hoping you would come back to what we had, I kept you in my heart for the last 12 months holding on to your last words. You are proving my words to be right that it was easy for you. It was not easy for me, giving you up and starting over. That summer you were everywhere. The dress I wore for graduation you bought it. You sent me flowers on graduation. I found your clothes in my closet as I got ready to leave home. I thought I saw you whilst on my road trip with the girls, it must've been my imagination. The romantic in me thought these were signs that you were destined to be in my life and one day we would reunite. You made me see the world positively so it should be ironic that you be the one to help me see it realistically again.
I'll try to move on but I don't know how easy that will be. Being with you will make it harder for me to find my forever. This is for two reasons. One, you showed me real love and I don't know if anyone can match the love you gave. Two, I thought you were my forever. I'll try for you Fin. Your letter surprisingly gave me closure knowing how you truly feel helps me no longer feel in the dark.
Goodbye and good luck, love Bella x
I sent that letter about six months ago and sure enough there was no response to it. Fin was serious about that being the last u heard from him. I hope he at least read my letter. He needed to know my feelings. It did hurt after a few weeks when I realised I was not getting a response.
Moving around my dad's kitchen I start to prepare myself some lunch. Well, it will be more like dinner; I must admit I got distracted applying for internship after internship. So far, I have no luck getting one, my college professor encouraged we get one alongside our second year. Semester starts in a month or so and I'm nowhere close to having one. Dad has told me not stress but it's hard not to when an internship could help progress quicker in my dream career.
