Back With A Vengeance

Chapter Seventeen

*The same evening*

Shawn's POV

After I finish my night routine, I put on a pair of boxers and socks and lay on my bed. I turn to look at the empty half of my bed and sigh longingly.

I really miss her. I wish she were here.

Amanda. She was the light of my world. I still remember the day I found out she was my mate very fondly. It was on my eighteenth birthday. I was so happy, but a little annoyed that I would have to wait a few more months to claim her since she was only seventeen at the time and wasn't aware of the mate bond yet.

I remember that even when she wasn't aware of the mate bond between us, she would still blush around me. She was such a cute little thing. I could stare at her baby blue eyes for hours and whenever we cuddle, I would always pet her soft blonde hair.

I also remember how she was so fond of her little orange cat, Whiskers. I found it really odd that a werewolf had a cat as a pet, since cats and dogs hate each other, but who am I to judge?

She was so sad when Whiskers died. She wouldn't stop crying for days. It was a little funny watching a  fully grown 21 year old werewolf cry over a cat. I heard Slade whimper in my head.

"I miss her so much." He tells me wistfully.

"I miss her too buddy. Every. Single. Day." The sadness is settling itself deep within me once again, as it does every night.

I wish so much that she were her with me. I wish I could cuddle with her and watch as she cutely curls up to my side. Oh, what I would give to kiss her soft lips one last time. Or to hug her again. It's my fault. It's all my fault she isn't here anymore.

I could never open my heart again for anyone else after her. She will be the only woman to ever have my heart. Besides, I deserve to die of loneliness like she did. She died alone and I wasn't there for her. I wasn't here for her in her last moments.

I didn't protect her enough.

I am a failure.

It happened three years ago. I was 25 and she was 24 at the time. I left the pack with Alpha Max to a meeting with another pack. It was when we were on our way back that I felt it. The pain of the bond ripping apart because of her death. It was the worst thing I ever felt and will ever feel in my life. We were just outside the pack borders by then, so I jumped out of the car and ran towards our house as fast as I could I wolf form.

But it was already too late.

When I got to the house, the whole place reeked of blood. I followed her scent to the kitchen and what I saw there will forever be burned into my memory. Her lifeless body laying on the floor in a pool of her own blood, blood pouring out of a stab wound on her chest.

It all was my fault.

Before I left for the meeting, we had a huge fight. Now that i think about it, I can't even remember what we were fighting about. I just know that I was really angry at her before I left. But I do remember that I said something really hurtful to her before I stormed out, and that's what hurts me the most.

I hate you.

Those were the last words she said to me before I left. That's why her death hurt me even more. I didn't mean to hurt her. I planned on apologising to her when I got back, but it was already too late. It hurts that we weren't on good terms before she died and I will forever regret that.

And the worst part is that I never caught who killed her. I wasn't able to get the justice that she deserves. The bastard is probably still roaming free, despite the pain they have caused me.