Paper Dolls

Chapter 20

I've never been so eager to leave the practice room and head back to our trainee dorms. Even Binna eyes me curiously as I race to the bus stop and tap my foot eagerly while we wait for the bus. 

I look at my watch which currently reads 10pm. The timing could not be more perfect. I'm so excited that I count down the minutes to calm myself. 

Ten minutes for the bus to arrive. Fifteen minutes to reach our dorms. Five minutes to walk to the night market and meet Jiho at our tofu stall. I smile to myself. I can't believe I just referred to our first meeting spot as 'ours'.  

"Are you, okay?" Binna asks and I whip towards her. For a moment I forgot she was even there. 

"Umm, yeah. Yeah," I clear my throat feeling embarrassed for some reason. "The weather's just really nice tonight."

Binna frowns and looks up at the darkened sky. Tonight is colder than usual and she tugs her scarf tightly around her neck. "You sure you're not going through some sort of breakdown or something? The exhaustion getting to you?"

I giggle at the absurdity of her words making her look even more alarmed. "Of course not. We finally got the routine down without Mr Lee berating us for something ridiculous tonight. Don't you think that's enough cause for a smile?" 

I watch Binna's face light up and relax slightly. Thank God she bought that. 

"Yeah, it was pretty satisfying to see him annoyed because he had nothing to criticise." Her hair whips in her face and she pulls it back just as the bus arrives, it's large front lights illuminating how tired she looks. 

I probably look the same but I skip up the steps energetically with Binna laughing from behind. 

"The way you're acting. It's like you just found out you're debuting." 

"Like the saying goes 'Fake it till you make it." I chide making her laugh again. 

"I like this new Jina. You better be staying for the long term. I could use this kind of motivation," Binna teases and we find two empty seats by the back. 

My knees keep shaking, jittery with excitement once we near our dorm rooms. We stop by the corner and I all but fly out of the bus. I'm about to charge to the market when I stop in my tracks. In all my excitement and planning I'd completely forgotten about Binna being here. 

What would she say about me going off into the night alone?

"Aren't you coming up?" I see her pause by the staircase that leads to the upper floors, her arm perched on the landing for support. 

I stare at her, my thoughts racing a mile a minute before I settle on the only excuse I can think of. "I think I'm going to take a walk. I'm too wired. Need to burn some energy if I want to get a wink of sleep tonight." 

Her perfectly shaped eyebrows raise and she stares at me incredulously. "You want to go for a walk now? At this time of night?" 

I shrug my shoulders trying to seem nonchalant about it. "Yes, why not." 

"Fine," She mutters. "Let me just put my bag upstairs and then we can go." 

"NO!" I blurt out quickly and she looks at me like I've been possessed by a ghost. "I mean I want to go for a walk alone. Just to clear my head and stuff." 

In all our years of knowing each other, this must be the first time I've ever told her not to follow me somewhere. I remember Yiren, our diet and weight manager calling us the couple who's always been joined at the hips. 

Binna's frown deepens ever so slightly and there's no mistaking the hurt on her face. I feel a stab of guilt when I see this but I don't know what else to do. Meeting Jiho is already risky enough, I can't drag her along as well.