Paper Dolls

Chapter 37

The girls are all already in their rooms, most likely getting ready for bed after the long day we had but as luck would have it I stumble upon Kim who is binge eating ice cream in the kitchen. 

Only she would dare eat sugar at a time like this but I'm too busy conjuring up an excuse for leaving the dorms to realise that our manager would have her head for snacking. 

We both blurt our excuses at the same time. I say I'm going out to clear my head, Kim claims she's stress eating and thankfully we both leave it at that. 

The chill night air stings my cheeks and I dig my hands into my coat pockets as I skip down the stairs two at a time. 

Up ahead, the bustling night market glows in the distance, lighting up the night sky and the walkways along the streets. I hurry towards the abandoned building, wary of my surroundings until I feel someone fall in step with me. 

My body tenses and I look up to see bright eyes above a very recognisable beauty mark. My shoulders immediately relax and I smile behind the mask I'd just put on. 

"You drove me crazy today, you know?" Jiho says rhetorically and he pulls his head cap further over his hairline. He has a mask, gloves, a cap and a knee length coat on. So many layers to conceal his identity but it only makes me more paranoid, the articles about our outing at the market still vivid in my memory. 

He turns to me and I shift my focus to our feet, unable to explain how ridiculous I've been acting. 

"I would beg to differ. I felt like the crazy one today, my mind kept going into overdrive. Kept thinking about the possibility of you doing this," I pause and gesture between us. "With someone else." 

Even under that get up I can tell he looks offended. "Do you really think I'm capable of that?" 

My lips purse as I truly think about it. I mean anyone is capable of anything. I didn't think Dalia would have an affair with a married man but Loona suggested otherwise. I never thought an idol could be complicit of murder but Loona and Jungseok sure look suspicious enough. 

Not to mention Mr Wan preying on young trainees. It seems like everyone has a secret of their own to hide. 

Jiho sighs and lets out a sad laugh. "Wow, you're actually considering it. Jina, meeting with you like this is already hard enough. What makes you think I have the time or energy to do the same with another? We have rehearsals, practice, I have shootings, talk shows, variety shows, the list goes on. It's exhausting enough as it is, in fact I've never dared meet someone like this before. I'm only risking it now because I really want to. With you." 

My chest feels tight after his admission and I duck under the stone pillar that marks the entrance to the abandoned warehouse we came to last time we met. His words make so much sense that I only feel ridiculous. 

Moonlight seeps in through the cracks in the ceiling above and highlights the floors around us with criss-crossing silver streaks. Jiho leads the way, his shadow stretching across the partially lighted cement.

I want to speak, to say something because the silence between us is now suffocating. He's right, he just made so much sense. With such hectic schedules it's been nearly impossible to meet and yet I have managed to not only juggle him, but Hyeon as well. 

Maybe that's why I suspected him, because I was capable of it. The memory of Hyeon's face so close to mine as we huddled together in that red booth makes me wince. I try to tell myself that it's all for the sake of the investigation but maybe....maybe I am the problem. 

"I'm sorry," I finally say and it is so quiet that my words echo through out the vast empty space. 

Jiho is standing by the edge of the building, his broad back shadowed against the starless sky. He turns ever so slightly, his gaze vulnerable. It makes me walk up to him, the need to be closer feels like a magnet pulling at me.