Paper Dolls

Chapter 53

Everything's moving too fast. The incessant camera flashes, the gushing audience, the people with VIP tickets rushing to greet us and take pictures. 

I try to catch Binna but even though we are a few feet away from each other, we might as well be an ocean's width apart.

Everyone's tugging and pulling at me. Smile here, pose over there. Meet this person, that person. Shake hands with this famous business man and that so called important person I don't recognise who has come specifically for me. 

My cheeks are frozen, my smile so wide it doesn't feel like my muscles are working anymore. I'm in spasm mode, body on autopilot while my mind drifts to other places. 

It's an odd feeling. I'm happy that I made it. The feeling of pushing through to the finish line and actually getting there is unlike anything I can describe. Camera, after camera is shoved in my face and I smile into each and every one of them. 

I then see the QBS crew, immediately thinking of Hyeon, half expecting him to be lugging the equipment but he's no where to be seen. When I smile into the QBS camera, I know it will be seen all over Korea, maybe even overseas. 

It makes me think of Hadong and my family who told me they will be watching the showcase at the council centre. Tears spring to my eyes as I remember the pictures my sister sent to me. 

The entire city hall has been plastered with posters of support for me and a huge LED screen has been set up over the back wall to broadcast the live showcase. Tables of food and refreshments have been set along the walls, each dish handmade by the locals who have all gathered there tonight to support one of their own. 

I can almost imagine how they would have watched the entire show tonight with their breaths held. I know because I was there once, watching with the rest of Hadong as Dalia made her debut. 

I cheered with my family and hers and secretly hoped of pursuing my dream as an idol myself and now here I am. 

I made it. 

This should be the happiest day of my trainee life but it feels incomplete, a hollowness making my stomach queasy because it just doesn't add up. If anyone should have made it, it would have to be Binna. 

She was clearly also a crowd favourite and management has loved her since day one. She was one of the first to be finalised in this showcase. It just doesn't make any sense. 

I look at her again as she entertains a fan who is sympathising with her, looking like she wants to run away. Why doesn't she look devastated or shocked? Like her world just came crumbling down. It's almost as if she knew this was going to happen. 

She turns to the row of executives and I notice Mr Wan staring at her, his expression smug. I've always despised him, he wears arrogance on his face like second skin. 

They stare at each other and suddenly it clicks. Like a key finally fitting into the lock and suddenly I remember the one on one session they were supposed to have with each other. The one I'd warned Binna not to go to. 

Memories come flitting back like pieces to a puzzle. I'd been so preoccupied with our trip to Linger with Hyeon that I'd completely forgotten about Binna's training session with Mr Wan. The reason why she didn't follow us on Saturday. 

Someone congratulates me but I can't stop staring at their exchange. 

Binna's face finally shifts from resigned to anger. She glares at Mr Wan, despite the dozens of eyes around us, the rows of cameras, she glares and he just smiles. He nods in a teasing way, showing her who's in power before turning around, dismissing her completely.