A Pirate's Love

The Swell of the Ocean

Jake's POV:

I stormed into my room as fast as I could and locked the door behind me. My shoulders tense with stress, I roughly ran my hands through my hair to move it out of my face. Pacing around the room, I quickly shook my arms at my sides to try and relieve anxiety. This was too much. I strode towards my bed and sat on the edge, placing my elbows on my knees and head in my hands. I closed my eyes and my leg began to bounce as I let my thoughts wander.

She knows. She figured it out. Too soon, too soon, too soon.

Memories of my past came flooding into my mind. The joy I had serving in the navy, the pride I took in it, it was everything to me. I worked hard to move up through the ranks, only for it to be ripped away in seconds. My best mate. My friend. Betrayal. Treason. Piracy. Hatred. It all came flooding back. My chest began to tighten and it became hard to breathe.

*rap-rap-rap*

A gentle knock sounded on my door. Of all times, not now.

"WHAT?" I yelled at it.

"Cap'n?" I heard Smith from behind the door, the gentle rumble in his voice instantly relieving some of the pressure from my shoulders. I let out a sigh and walked towards the door, unlocked and opened it ajar. I suddenly became exhausted and leaned against the doorway with a hand above my head. Smith looked at me with his one worried eye. "You a'right, Jake?" he asked, pushing past me and letting himself into my room. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sat back down on my bed.

"I'm fine, Smith, what do you want?" I asked coldly, as if wanting him to leave, yet secretly hoping he would stay.

"I came to check on ye," he stated sincerely, "It's been a while since you've been above deck." I glared at him and scoffed. He looked back at me and waited. In the silence I could feel him waiting for me to give an explanation for my actions. The damned wizard could read me too well.

I laid back on my bed in defeat and let out a sigh. "She knows, Smith. She figured it out too soon. This was a bad idea," I sat up, my eyes widening in revelation, "Let's throw them overboard!"

Smith let out a chuckle and sat in a chair next to me. "Yer the one that made the decision to agree to this arrangement, Jake. Ye can't back out now."

"I know," I replied, "But all of my decisions are bad ones, you should know this by now." Smith looked at me with nothing but a smile on his face. I knew that look. I knew I was thinking irrationally. I stared through him as my mind began to race and fill with thoughts again.

"Maybe you should stop running, Jake," he suddenly said. My stomach dropped and I focused my eyes back to his.

"I've been running for half of my life, Smith," I stated quietly, not wanting to show emotion.

"If not away, then toward," he stated simply, "What else other option do ye gotten?" His improper grammar flicked a smile across my lips. "It was your plan in the beginning when it all started, remember? Why run away from what ye started? It's time to finish." He was right. I needed to stop, for my own sanity; for everyone's sanity. "Remember why ye agreed," he finished.

"You thought it was a bad idea to begin with, " I inquired.

"Aye, I did," he said, "but no matter what I'm seeing it through and makin' sure ye get to the destination ye need to, mate."

"Thank you, Smith," I said, anxiety flooding off of my body, knowing he always had my back.

"We need ye up there Cap'n," he said as he pointed a finger upwards. I nodded to him as he got up, clapped a rough hand on my shoulder with a smile, and walked out of my room. I smiled as I admired his friendship and watched him leave. He always knew what to say. I slowly arose and stretched my arms into the air until my lungs gave out a heavy groan. Back to business.

Hastening my steps, I walked out the door and up the steps to the main deck, instantly hit by the smell of the salty air. I made my way to my standard position at the helm, glanced at my compass briefly, and gave careful orders to adjust position to the helmsman. I gazed out into the horizon as the waves billowed over themselves in a uniform fashion. Tempting and hypnotic, the sun danced on the peaks, drawing in my eyes and my heart without hesitation. The sea was my life, my love, my everything. Nothing could pull me deeper into itself than the ocean. Like a magnet pulls a coin to itself, so I, too, am pulled in by the sea. As I reveled in the beauty and magnificence of the deep, a flicker of movement caught my eye at the side of the ship. Elenor, still wearing my oversized clothes, feet bare, and loose ends of her braid flowing in the cool wind, was leaning over the side of the ship and admiring the horizon with a glowing expression, as I had just been doing. Seeing her soak in the peace of the ocean and relish in its beauty made my chest begin a crescendo like I had never felt before. I felt myself slowly being pulled towards her presence as I unexpectedly moved in her direction. Before I knew it I was standing closely next to her, marveling at her profile. The soft curve of her cheekbone, the slight upturn of her nose, the modest parting of her lips, cupid's bow perfectly angular, her long, dark eyelashes framing her vibrant, emerald eyes. They glittered and a smile formed on her lips as she looked over the railing of the ship. I hesitantly pulled my eyes away from hers to gaze in the direction she was looking. Two large, dark gray masses played and swam around each other as the ship parted through the waves. Dolphins. A smile flickered across my lips at the thought of her enjoying the simple sight.

I felt her face turn towards me, though I kept my eyes on the water. "Life at sea can be a marvelous thing," I chimed in.

"Good morning, Captain," she greeted, sweetly, slight nervousness in her voice.

"Good morning," I returned, now making eye contact. She was as beautiful as the swell of the ocean, pulling me in.

"The Mountain of the Sun is a beautiful ship," she said, suddenly.

"Aye, that she is," I responded and looked back out into the sea, "She's been my home for many years." Memories of the time I have spent with my crew on this ship flashed through my mind. The feeling of safety disguised as a group of people and a moving vessel was all I have ever known. I rested my elbows on the railing and leaned over, my eyes landing on my hands as my thoughts wandered to the experiences of Elenor. This ship most likely felt like anything but safe, yet she still called it beautiful. Anxiety grew in my chest at the thought of me being the cause of this feeling of unsafety. My actions have always been explosive up until this point. "I do hope that you can enjoy your time here," I spoke, carefully, "I am trying what I can to get you to your father as soon as possible," I tried to reassure.

"I understand," she said softly, and the anxiety left my body for a moment, relieved that we could move on. "Why did you agree to give me passage?" she suddenly asked, and my shoulders stiffened as I nervously fiddled with the silver rings on my fingers.

She was asking for the truth that I was not willing to share. Smith's words rang through my head as I looked out into the sea for strength, "To see England again," I finally replied, letting out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding in.

"How long has it been?" She asked me.

"Too long to remember," I scoffed. Memories of the life I left behind before I fled entered into my mind. I could feel her eyes burning the side of my face as she analyzed the expression I so desperately did not want her to see.

"Do you have family there?" she pried. This conversation was getting more personal than I thought it would, which was much harder to bare than Smith said it would be.

"Just a sister," I answered honestly, trying to remember the last time I saw her. "though I doubt she remembers me," I concluded, feeling guilty for not having a clear image of what she looked like.

"Have you written her?" she asked. So many questions. My body began to stiffen with anxiety.

"No," I responded, firmly, and knocked my knuckle on the railing, trying to relieve any pressure I could, "Enjoy the view," I stated as I turned away from her and briskly walked up to my station. Smith gave me a look of concern as I met him at the helm. I could hear him in the back of my head without him even saying anything. I was running again.