A Pirate's Love

Double Vision

"Kiss me," he whispered softly into my ear. My head rested comfortably on his shoulder as we stood together, watching the sun rise. I glanced up and studied his face, his hair tied messily, half up, wisps gently covering his left eye. His lips glistened in the light of dawn, slightly parted, revealing hints of perfectly white teeth. His golden brown eyes, framed by long, dark eyelashes, looked deeply into mine. His eyes held the universe. Nothing else mattered, only that I was standing there with him, just being. Before I knew it, our lips were touching, soft and sweet. My chest swelled with the purest love, wanting nothing more than to perpetually breathe him in. He warmed my body with his as he held me, and I melted into his warmth, pulling him down into the tall grass, the blades delicately brushing our cheeks. A soft chuckle rumbled in his chest as he reached to his side, picked a flower from the meadow, and tucked it behind my ear. His gentle smile made my heart dance, and I refused to believe I would ever be happier than in this moment.

"Sam," I started to breathe the admiration I had for him, wanting nothing more than to tell him how beautiful he was and how peaceful he made me feel.

"Shh," he exhaled, shushing me by gently brushing his thumb across my cheek. He held me by the back of my neck and gingerly pressed his lips into mine, pushing me into the grass once again. I could feel a smile form across his lips—

A small flicker of candlelight peeked under my eyelids, my eyes feeling sore and stinging from crying as I slowly opened them. With my arms still wrapped around my legs pulled up to my chest, I must have fallen asleep. My head started to pound in headache as thoughts of where I was and how I got here came flooding into my mind. I could feel the residual mucous in my nose dripping down my throat; the obvious aftermath of a crying spell. I felt empty and cold. My nostrils started to sting and my dry eyes welled with tears again as I reflected on the dream. What once gave me comfort in the moment now caused me pain.

My body betrayed me by craving and yearning for his gentle touch. My mind betrayed me by fantasizing what would never be. My soul betrayed me, making me believe I was safely intertwined in his warming love. My heart pained in grief. It ached, longing for my sense of security to return to me, not wanting to believe he was gone forever.

I laid on the wooden floor, curled up in the corner of the room, my body unable to move. Tears flooded down my cheeks involuntarily. I did not want to feel, yet at the same time I did not want to be numb. I unintentionally choked out a sob, making me cover my mouth with my hand and shut my eyes tight. Would this feeling ever end? Real memories of Sam replayed in my mind. The way his eyes flickered amber in beams of light, the way the corners of his mouth turned upwards when he spoke, the way his brow furrowed when he was deep in thought, the way he could peacefully heal me with a single, simple touch. I reminisced on our childhood, I bitterly reflected on the violent end of his life, and everything in between. He did everything he could to try and keep me safe, even wielding a weapon against his pacifistic nature. Remembrance of his endless gentleness caused a pang in my heart. I choked out another sob and opened my eyes, the darkness of the foreign room making my heart feel even more empty, and my tears causing double vision.

My thoughts drifted to the journey that led me here. It has been nothing but an uphill battle. Heightened emotions and unforgiving characters, I questioned if this was how the rest of my life would be. I suddenly longed for the temporary comfort that The Mountain of the Sun had brought me; that the Captain had brought me. What had happened to him? Was he dead? Was he imprisoned like the others? My heart was already broken at the loss of Sam. I feared what would happen if I had lost the Captain as well; if I had lost Jake. Heaviness set over me. I was alone.

Heavy footsteps sounded in the hallway. I held my breath as I heard the lock on the door rattle. The door creaked open, revealing a sliver of candlelight, and a tall figure walked in and shut the door, locking it behind them. I watched as Dan Deranged made his way to the depleting candle on the desk, loudly opened a drawer, and set a candlestick in a candelabra, ready to light it.

"Get up," he commanded. His cold voice ran a chill through my spine. I didn't move. I couldn't move. "GET up," he repeated himself, "I could hear your pathetic blubbering from the hallway. You can't fool me." I quickly wiped my face and shuffled to sit up, fearing he would raise his voice at me again. He lit the candle, setting an illuminating glow in the room. The sound of the waves rocking the ship back and forth filled the silence between us. He walked up to me in an intimidating manner, not a word escaping his lips. He roughly grasped the collar of my shirt and pulled me to my feet. "When I tell you to do something, you obey, princess," he spoke, bitterly. My heart sank and eyes filled with tears at the sound of the nickname that was once laced on Captain Blacksmoke's lips. Dan Deranged's eyes bore into mine, a piercing hazel gripping at my soul.

"AGH," he suddenly yelled out, violently tossing me onto the bed. My elbow hit the wall with a 'thud' instantly causing a shooting pain through my arm. I winced in pain, fear filling my body at his effortless strength. "Useless wench," he cursed, and walked towards a chest, pulling out two bottles of liquor. He sat at the desk and propped his legs up, pulling the cork from one of the bottles and instantly taking a swig. I watched as he chugged down the liquor, my emotions still slightly numb from crying. He glanced over at me and pulled the other bottle from the table. He loosened the cork and eventually popped it open, still keeping his eyes on me. He slowly rose to his feet and walked over to me, bottles in hand. He sat down next to me on the bed, placing one of the bottles in my lap. "Drink with me," he said, firmly, his eyes staring out into the distance. I hesitantly took the bottle into my hands and watched him carefully as he looked at me through his peripheral vision. He raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to obey. I carefully lifted the bottle to my lips and took a small sip. The strong liquor instantly burned my throat as it went down, making me cough. Dan Deranged roughly grabbed the bottle from my hand, gulped down the last of the vile liquid, then threw the bottle on the floor, causing it to shatter. He laughed a bellowing chuckle, amused at his own stupidity.

Sudden silence filled the room. I felt his large hand glide up my thigh, sending my heart into a panic. He turned to look at me, his hand still firmly planted on my leg. I saw a spark of pain flash in his eyes before quickly turning cold again. "You are of no use to me like this," he said, the smell of alcohol on his breath, "but you will stay," he breathed out, pulling me towards his body as he lay flat on his back. I struggled under his grip, not wanting to be any nearer to the vicious man. "You will stay," he spat out, forcing me to lay with him, "and I expect you to comply in the morning," he finished. He grabbed my wrist and lazily placed my arm around his waist, making my stomach churn with disgust. He let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes, his hand still firmly gripping my arm so I stayed in place. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.

I tried desperately to hold back my tears. How I longed for this intimacy to be shared between me and Captain Blacksmoke. Instead, I was with the man that most likely killed him. Dan Deranged's grip on my arm got tighter the more I tried to hold back the tears. The duality I experienced just within the last few minutes was making my head spin. The difference between Dan Deranged and the Captain was great, but the difference between Dan Deranged and Sam was even greater. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know how to feel. When would this end?