A Pirate's Love

Giving Up

Elenor's POV:

I pulled the thin blanket up to my chin as I lay on my side, watching as he pulled his shirt over his head. Feeling cold, ashamed, and empty, all I could do was stare, trying to recall the moments briefly shared between us. My body ached in places I had not felt ache before. I was tired and suddenly felt alone, even though the man I was with was standing right in front of me. He soon left without a word, after only giving silent glances once each piece of clothing was returned to his body. I watched as his broad shoulders and dark, curly locks left the room, his hand pulling his belt tight as he closed the door behind him. A sob filled my chest until it spilled over, wishing he would have stayed a moment longer, or at least shown some sort of affection. Days had gone by, with little to no hope of docking at a port. I was giving up. This was not how it was supposed to be, yet what choice did I have?

Would I ever be free again to love who I choose? Perhaps I would learn to love Dan Deranged the more I spent time with him. His mind was methodical, yet maniacal, different from anything that I had ever known. He planned everything in advance, yet changed his mind very quickly. He was like the embodiment of chaos, unpredictable, perfect, yet terrible creature of disorder. He was fascinating. However, unpredictability forms a pattern after a while and can be played. He was clueless at times, even if he saw himself as clever; the one flaw that would be his downfall. I was always told that it was not right to only love someone for their mind. It is naive to think that the human mind and heart are pure. The truth is that the mind and heart are full of snakes that can bite. The venom from their fangs can leave you feeling numb and less of yourself. This can never be real love, yet he was still enchanting.

I still remembered the feeling of him, heating my body like a fire burns crackling wood. Pulling, grabbing, caressing, kissing, our bodies were tangled as well as our hearts. Beating chests and heavy breaths, our minds were numb and our skin feeling. I still remembered the feeling of us, floating like a great ship in the open ocean, pulled by the winds of lust. Pure bliss and love, a short-lived, yet intense journey of rhythmic heartstrings, our true feelings spilling over and taking control.

These weren't the memories shared with the deranged man who had left me alone, but of Captain Blacksmoke. I picked at my lips at the thought of his gentle kisses, pulling me in deeper. I couldn't deny the feelings I had toward him any longer. The way he held me made me feel more like a woman than I ever had before. He made me feel alive, as opposed to Dan Deranged making me feel like a lifeless body; a shell of who I once was. Now a ghost in the past, the Captain haunted my mind, cutting the wound of the moment I had shared with Dan Deranged even deeper. How I desperately wished he were still alive, that I might just touch him one more time. A simple touch would heal all wounds. I pictured him with his deep brown stare, dueling the person of my nightmares with great strength, causing the evil pirate to perish. This eased my mind, yet my body betrayed me, feeling sick to my stomach. Part of me still pitied Dan Deranged, even after all he had done to corrupt my mind and my body.

I slowly wormed out of the bed, ignoring the ache in my abdomen. Picking my clothes up off of the floor, I carefully put them back on, treasuring the fabric. They were the only things I had left of Captain Blacksmoke. I reminisced on the day he laid them out for me, and the delicate touches we shared. The memory was painful and caused an ache in my chest. I put him to rest in my mind, deciding that coming to terms with his death would be the only way to keep myself sane. I pictured myself at a funeral, standing at the tombstone. It read "Commodore Jacob 'Blacksmoke' Kiszka, our loving Captain, and friend." I pictured myself dressed all in black, placing white roses at his grave, and wiping tears from my eyes. He was gone forever, along with the pure love I once knew and hoped would never leave.

Suddenly, running feet and yelling voices sounded from above me, which was soon followed by a change in pace by The Funeral of Innocence. The ship split through the sea at great speed, indicating another sail had been dropped. The wood rumbled against the waves, screaming in excitement, her reason most likely being she would raid another ship. My heart began beating faster in my chest along with her thrill.