Dil Ko Karaar Aaya (SidNaaz❤)

Chapter 8

Days rolled on and Sidharth used to bring her daily along with him to his house. She protested everyday despite knowing that she will lose in front of this stubborn man. It had been a week of that incident. However, she grew a little comfortable with him. This is what actually happens. A person who stays aloof from people initially finds it a bit difficult to be with people, but when they get the required affection they gradually start coming out of their shell. This is exactly what was happening with her even without her knowledge. Surprisingly, even Sidharth was unknown to this fact that he is providing her with something that she has been craving for.

"Sidharth, suno. Aap kyu kar rahe ho aisa? Mein theek hun ab. Kyu lekar aaye ho apne saath?" Shehnaaz asked him while they were having their dinner.

Sidharth didn't reply and kept eating, enjoying the hot gulabjamuns. This irritated Shehnaaz and she whacked him on his biceps. Sidharth was stunned by this action but masked his astonishment with a poker face and was relishing his Gulabjamun.

"Sidharth, kya hai. Dekho toh sahi." She said irritated with his ignorant behaviour. This time he looked towards her only to find unfinished food in her plate.

He spoke in a stern tone, "Finish your food first. Don't be like a cranky spoiled child."

This was it for Shehnaaz and her eyes teared up. "I am not cranky. Infact there was none to spoil me. Kyu kar rahe ho aisa. Baat toh karo. Sun hi nahi rahe ho aap meri baat."

"So you want me to hear you. Are you ready for it?" He asked softly taking her in a side hug. She nodded wiping her face with the back of her palms.

"Ok. We will talk. Pehle finish your food." He said and offered her a Gulabjamun from his bowl and she smiled at his sweet gesture.

☆

Sidharth sat on a swing on the terrace along with Shehnaaz doing nothing but gazing at the full moon. There was an eerie silence on the terrace.

"Sidharth, aapko yaad hai jis din mujhe vo panic attack aaya tha uss din maine aapko bataya tha ki meri mummy ka birthday hai." Shehnaaz said suddenly to which Sidharth nodded.

She then continued, "Mein na basically Punjab se hun. Meri ek chhoti si pyaari si family thi. Mein, mummy aur papa. Aur hum sab na bohat khush the apne mein. We were not filthy rich but very happy. But shaayad nazar lagti hi achhi chizo ko hai. That happened with us. Aur phir sab bikhar gaya." As she finished saying this her voice was heavy with emotions.

Sidharth held her palm and gently stroked it to comfort her. Composing herself she continued, "When I was 14 tab mummy kisi project ki wajah se out of town gayi thi. But I forced her to return the same day as it was her birthday and I wanted her to be with us. I asked her to return the same day. Koi galat maqsad nahi tha mera, bass mummy ke saath rehna tha. Mummy ne bola tha ki possible nahi ho paayega as it will be too late but maine bhi ziddi kar li...you know mera koi galat intention nahi tha I just wanted to be with her."

Seeing her trembling, Sidharth hugged her and tried to calm her. She kept on repeating that she just wanted to be with her mother like any other child would have wanted to and nothing else. He cooed her saying that he believes everything she is saying and trusts her. After some time he saw that she is weeping silently in his embrace. He thought that too much stress is not good for her in a single day so he said, "Okay enough for today. Chalo sleep now."

"No please, bohat himmat juta ke bol rahi hun pehli baar. Sun lo. I know it will break me but I know you will hold me. Pata nahi kyu par I trust you a lot, tabhi shaayad pehli baar mein sab share kar rahi hun." She requested him and then continued, "Mummy was returning as she promised but due to bad weather her car crashed and she succumbed. We were unaware but then she was brought to our house. It was her birthday, I wanted her to return but not like that. Our world crashed, we were broken and numb. Her final rites were done the next day and then started a life that pushed me to this stage that I don't want anyone near me."

Sidharth hugged her tightly as he felt connected to her story. He knew how it feels to loose someone whom you love a lot. "Shh...calm down. I know how it feels. I trust you. You were not at fault sweetheart, it was predestine," he said rubbing her back.

"Papa ne na khud ko cage kar lia tha. He was not himself after mummy left. I wanted him to support me. He also needed someone and I wanted to be his support. Our lose was common but he distanced himself from me. Phir bhi na ek din bohat himmat kar ke I went to him and hugged him. Rona aa raha tha, I wanted to cry in his embrace. Only he was the one whom I could call mine. But what shocked me was he pushed me and looked at me with utter hatred. Pehle toh na unki aankhon ka tara thi mein par uss din na unki aankhon mai sirf nafrat thi mere liye. Phir bhi I tried to hug him again, sirf vo hi toh the mere paas ab. But he pushed me again and asked me to stay away from him as he considered me a curse. He wished I would have died instead of my mother that day for he believed my stubbornness was the reason of her death. That was the last day I talked to him. Phir himmat hi nahi hui. Kahin na kahin unhone jo bola vo hi sach maan ne lagi thi mein. He hated seeing my face. Before this incident, he never ate his breakfast and dinner without me. But then he never ate with me. Infact he never cared if I had eaten anything. I was a cute chubby girl then I became lean but he never noticed this drastic change. Jab bhi mujhe dekhte the na he used to feel disgusted and say something to me that would definitely break me, kyuki hurt se bohat aage aa chuki thi mein. Tired of all this, I decided to leave the house. I asked him and he readily agreed as he didn't wanted to be around me. Then I shifted to a boarding school in class X. Neither he called me, nor did I. I never went home during my holidays. Akeli rehti thi wahan, friend bhi bani thi ek shuruaat mai par baad mai uski family ne durr rehne ko keh dia. Unko ajeeb laga hoga ki mein kabhi ghar nahi jaati ya ghar se koi milne nahi aata, not their fault. Par uske saath bhi na ek alag sa lagaav ho gaya tha aur uske durr hone se phir akeli pad gayi. Finally maine maan lia tha ki I do not deserve love and no one loves me." She told with tears still flowing from her eyes.

"Phir yahan kaise?" He uttered.
"After XII, I left Punjab without telling anything to my father and came here. I took admission into a government college. Fees kam thi toh jyaada issue nahi hua. But yahan rehna was not easy. So I took tuitions and kuch part time jobs wagareh kari. After my graduation, I worked at some other places as well par vo mujhe nikal dete the thinking that I was egoistic. Phir aapke yahan apply kia then you know everything." She sighed and hugged him tightly and her tears kept drenching his t-shirt and neck. He wanted to interrupt but let her cry first.

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NOTE : Namaste everyone. I know I am late and won't give any reasons because it would look fake, ki iske toh humesha kuch na kuch rehta hai. But still this chapter is up for you all to read and tell me areas of improvement. Thanks for votes and comments on previous updates.

So Shehnaaz's past has been revealed. What could be the reason Sidharth could relate to Shehnaaz's situation of loosing someone very close? The mysterious PERSON in Sidharth's life is still unknown. Who do you think the PERSON is?

I know what Shehnaaz's father did was terribly wrong. What do you think is he searching for her or still doesn't care?

If her father comes back to her, should she forgive him?

{Published on : Wednesday, 21 September 2022}

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Keep Sidharth and his family in your prayers.

Your writer,
Sudhanya