Doll house 🏠

13,hope

Felix -

that Maddie of mine is so thoughtful I thought she was so good to me. I don't know how she does it either with her pasta bake for her chicken bakes. She always makes delicious, healthy food that fills you up to like last night she made like this casserole that had chicken and greens in it but no breadcrumbs it was weird and it was 100% natural and I Ganic and her salads are even are even filling as well and it's a healthy salad because she makes her own dressing here is a teaspoon of olive oil, garlic and a little bit of Sriracha sauce and she has a splash of honey and she also adds a little bit of cream cheese to thicken it up. Then she refrigerate it and then she puts it in the fridge and then she'll microwave it for 20 seconds and then before 10 minutes before we eat it. She will toss the salad in the dressing put it in the fridge to chill and then she'll serve it sometimes she puts shrimp and I salad sometimes she's not but she's a huge avocado thing and

I really don't know how Maddie cooks how she cooks but she does a really good job. Maddie said she had an end of story and she was angry, because no one ever wanted to be with her because she was a fat girl which looking back at her high school pictures that was fucking ridiculous on their part she wasn't fat. She just had a little bit of a curve to her, but she was nowhere near fat.

I thought people in Korea were mean about body types, but when I went home with her for the holiday, I seen just how brutal her hometown was. I begin to cry for her, so rude and judgmental to her so I'm really thankful she has Liz kairn and Bri to keep her spirits high.

I had actually met the girls a few days ago when we all went to her hometown Bakery for coffee Maddie hated donut. She is extremely picky with them. She didn't like sticky hand and she didn't like the feeling of feeling sick after eating. a dozen donut holes no she didn't eat a dozen donuts to be exact that would be crazy and I think she throw up even if she ate too but donut holes or like a little donuts that

I wrote up and falls no holes in the road and sugar, a glaze, and it plays Hardin to have a little bit of a crunch or not really a crunch but not a salty donut either But she said she hates them because she doesn't like to eat donuts because they don't fill her up and she thinks it's a recent money and she doesn't really like it. Siri cookie for breakfast either she said so when she goes to the bakery, she only gets a coffee they have sandwiches but her favorite sandwich is only available once a year it's a  blacked
Southwest sandwich

and it's only available in the summer along with her favorite salad which is a strawberry salad so she doesn't eat very much, but she can never say no to coffee because all the syrups are sugar-free there I feel as if I'm getting sad and I don't like it. I don't like it at all.

I begin to purge night also wrote the memoir about how people is bullying and comments about her weight pushed over the edge. She's the purge constantly, but ever since she got her jaw surgery, she still purges, but she can't get her finger all the way back in her mouth but in my mind is a gratefulness because she could've gotten tonsil stones with as hard .

As She poked and prodded at the back of her throat
to get last nights dinner to come up now sometimes she tries to jump up and down and throw things up but I tell her she doesn't need to do that if she knew what I was doing I think she'll be really upset, but I forgot this day that I left my door open and that he heard me purging in the bathroom shed open the door and had tears in her eyes. I knew I had messed up big time.

I just didn't know what to say I was afraid she would be mad at me. Maddie -Felix honey what are you doing? I can't allow this you have to stop proaching. If your boss makes one more comment I got this I was sick my fist in his mouth and he'll be saying skinny mini the whole way home because I'm sick of your boss he's a hypocrite.

I love how he taunt you boys and doesn't look at himself in the mirror without taking accountability for him hurting you. I'm mad at him for that I am upset with him for that.

I don't know how to feel about that I am upset I felt hot tears running down my face I couldn't believe it. I was always ridiculed for how I look at how I ate as a kid because people are control freaks but I'll be damned if I let Felix go through the same path I am I still struggle with my eating disorder and I don't think I'll ever get over it but I'm not gonna let him fall and feel miserable because of people is jealousy.