You're beautiful, just the way you are

Family Dinner (reality)

"Jisung, wear something nice. Not anything too baggy. Be presentable for tonight." Mrs Han said as she went into her sons room. Jisung was finally going to join them in their business dinner for the first time.

Jisung was kind of excited, not because of the eating part but because he finally feels like he's being recognized and not hidden. Maybe his parents aren't ashamed of him after all.

With this sense of happiness in him, jisung took his time to get ready. He dressed how his mom wanted, but also how he wanted as well. He touched lightly on the makeup, just like Felix taught him. And wore some jewelry not forgetting the ring Minho had gotten him.

As jisung finished up his look he heard people walk in, their voices were loud as they greeted the Hans. It sounded to be more than one person.

Han just blocked them out and looked at himself in the mirror. A small smile appeared, jisung actually liked what he was wearing. He felt this spark of confidence in himself.

Something he hadn't felt in a long time.

With on last look in the mirror jisung went downstairs, leaving his phone in his room.

....

Downstairs the Hans were already placing their dinner on the table. The two guests were too busy on their phones to notice jisung. So he walked over to the kitchen and helped his mom bring the food over.

"Jisung, what are you doing down??" The older lady pulled her son aside. "Go back to your room!" She whispered the last part.

Jisung just stood there......did she really forget? "Mom, you said I can join you all tonight. Remember, you even went to my room and told me to dress right." For some reason jisung was hurt, he was so close to just going back up stairs and wiping off his makeup. He felt ugly again in his own skin.

"Oh, yeah.. j-just don't say anything. And please for our sake, don't embarrass us jisung."

The young boy hated the way his parents said his name. He hated how they made him feel ugly about everything. First his body, now his own name.

Jisung felt uncomfortable.

But he continued to push through, he walked over to the table and sat at the head of the table. He ignored the stares coming from the guest and just looked at his plate.

Is this what his parents ate every day? Jisung felt more depressed looking at the 'food'. If Changbin was here right now, he wouldn't even sit down.

Jisung laughed a little to himself just imagining changbin and what he would say to his parents and their 'dinner'

But the smile was wiped off his face when he felt his father kick his shin underneath the table. Thats when jisung finally looked up and fully saw the guest. They were older people as well.

"Hello, you must be....." the lady tried to make small talk.

Jisung looked over at his mom as if he was asking for permission to answer. His mother just sighed and looked back at her food.

"I'm Jisung. Nice to meet you."

The lady just nodded and continued to eat, her husband placed his whine glass down and looked over to the young boy. "So Jisung, what do you do for a living? Do you work in an office or something?"

"No actually, I'm a producer. I make music."

Jisung could feel the tension growing around him. His mother put down her fork and looked at the guest with an awkward smile. " yeah... he makes songs, but I keep telling him that it won't get him anywhere.."

"Well you know how young kids are." Jisung father spoke up. "They never listen to adults."

The table broke out into laughter except for jisung. He just sat there scratching his thigh over and over taking deep and shaky breaths.

"Oh jisung, you're pretty handsome. Any girlfriend?"
The women asked as she took a sip of her wine. All attention was now of the boy who was sitting at the head of the table.

"Uh- n-no I don't have a girlfriend." Jisung looked back down and picked up a little piece of carrot.

"What a shame...I would allow you to date my daughter, but.... well I just wants what's best for us."

For some reason the Han's looked over at their son with disappointment before outing him. "Jisung is gay, he has a boyfriend."

"Mom! What the hell!" Jisung raised his voice, he felt embarrassed. His mom did not have to do that. She only made it worse for her self.

Here jisung was being careful with what he said. He would love to talk about Minho being his boyfriend. He could talk about him forever, but he didn't...because he was not going to embarrass his parents like his mom asked him.

"Jisung! Do not raise your voice at us. Where are your manners?!" Jisung dad stood up slamming his hand on the table, making everyone flinch.

Jisung just looked at his father not saying anything.

"Leave."

"I said leave jisung!! Go upstairs." Mr Han grabbed jisung by his shirt and pulled him out of the room. He pushed him towards the stairs and left.

Sung just walked up the stairs and into his room. He closed and locked the door. He felt so numb, no tears were forming. He just felt empty.

There were countless text messages from the group chat and some privately from minho. He answered them as he laid down. He was mentally drained from everything right now.

He just wanted to go to bed and forget this day had happened . He knows for a fact his parents are ashamed Of him, no doubt anymore.

Jisung's head was hurting from the constant replay from dinner, and his stomach was begging for something to eat.

But right now, he just laid down listening to 'The Rose'. He didn't want to hear anything else but his music. But Jisung felt his phone vibrate one more time.

With a soft sigh, jisung turned the screen over.

It was a message from Minho.

"I love you jisungie!! Mom missed you today, but I missed you more. Get some rest, see you soon."

.......

Ha.......ha I told myself to focus on one book, but I missed this one. These is my comfort book as well 😭. I'll try to update more on both💕 also... I started this chapter in September and barely finished it 😅

I wanna learn how to do a push up....I want strong arms, so I can hug you all tightly. 💪💪💪

Love you,
~Nevaeh 💕