Her Mafia Cousins

The color red

Recap...

My last thought before I go to sleep is. What would I do if I can't escape from them in a few months, who could protect me from the mafia?

Kiera:

Nightmare

I'm in the red room again. Sir told me I needed to learn how to pleasure him and his friends so I had to learn how to dance. I also had to learn how to strip tease and do lap dances. That all happens in the red room. It's where he takes his business partners and friends. I hate it so much. I have to dance and I don't fight back. I should just fight back or struggle but I don't. If I just fought back maybe this wouldn't happen to me?

I have no more time to think as him and his friends start to pool in. I start dancing my routine and as I dance I strip my clothes down to the red lingerie I'm wearing. Red is sirs favorite color. Which is why this whole room is red themed. He says it's the color of sexiness. I continue dancing until my routine is over and sit tells me to come over to him. "Give a lap dance to each of us princess," he says. I do it to each of them and then I have to give them all blow jobs. I hate whatever that sticky stuff is. My "dads" friends always called it ice cream. It's obviously not. And sir doesn't want people telling me what things are called. Like when the lady who taught me how to strip dance told me what a blow job is sir almost killed her. Saying he wants his princess to stay innocent.

After all the men leave I'm lead back to my room. It just has a bed and a chair. All clothes are provided to me when I can wear them so there isn't a closet or anything. If I have to go to the bathroom I have to knock on the door of my room to be lead to it. Sir says it's because he doesn't want me running away again. I have to stay in my room all day unless sir comes in or I have to go to my classes. Like dancing class. 

End of nightmare

I wake up in a cold sweat once again. Another nightmare. Can I ever catch a break? Lately I haven't been able to get away from the memories of my past. Specifically about sir. He did things to me that I never want to say out loud. It's all awful. He treated me like a baby and like an adult at the same time. He wanted to protect my innocence yet he took away what was left of it. I saw him a few times after the time he took me but it was never as long as those six months. It would be for a few days or weeks. And after the first time I knew what to expect. After what he did I was never the same. It took me awhile to even wear red. Everytime I wore it I just thought about the Red room. Which now I'm older I know it was a stripper room but I always just called it the red room. Because the entire thing was decorated in red. I used to see red as something I shouldn't wear because it was sexy. And I thought if I wore it I would get raped again. Even though I still got raped wether I wore it or not. The thing that made me get over my fear of red though was when I was 13 and I got into fighting. The gym was red. No just in the color scheme. But also the blood. I see red as not only as the color of sexiness but as the color of blood, anger, and revenge. The color of violence. Some people will say it's a dark spin on the color but I don't care.

I learned to love red but something I will never learn to love is waking up early. I hate it so much. I checked the time a few minutes ago. 4:00. Well now a few minutes after 4:00 but that doesn't make me any less tired. After awhile a roll of my bed and make my way to my closet and then to my bathroom locking the door behind me so I can take a shower in peace. After I'm done covering my visible scars I walk out of the bathroom. I decided to wear red today.