Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 10 What Can Anyone Do?

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
I wait three hours before going to find Drift. Hoping Jamie doesn't wake up while we're both gone. Drift isn't far from the training grounds, nor is he asleep. He's definitely been crying. I rush to his side and hug him. I don't think Drift would hurt himself, but my mind says to ensure he's ok.
"I didn't hurt myself," Drift sobs as I search for injury.
I let him cry for a while before insisting we get back to the tent.

We both sleep close together, with Jamie between us. Drift has an arm around her, but I doubt it's because he thinks she'll run off.
I struggle to fall asleep, knowing how hurt my friends, who are more like my family, are.

Drift is up early, and I got him to attempt to meditate. I'm hoping knowing I'm watching Jamie will help him relax.
"I'll watch our daughter," I assure him.
"Then how's she your sister?" Drift smiles and walks away.
"Look at how you have us thinking," I smile, looking at Jamie.
Lightning: is she ok?
Crosshairs: she's still asleep. Drift is having a hard time.
Lightning: what a fragging disaster. Lily tells me that Drift might consider canceling the road trip part of the vacation.
Crosshairs: that might be a good idea. At least it'll be easier to distract Jamie at the house.

It's quiet for a few minutes before I hear Jamie crying. This is a terrifying nightmare, or she thinks she's alone to cry.
She doesn't stop as I move her onto my lap and hug her. This has become somewhat normal. Thank Primus, this isn't daily, but also Jamie takes longer to calm down. This results from keeping quiet rather than crying for a few minutes, even daily. Though some might argue daily isn't good. I'd say to them, tell us what we can do to help our friend and give her what she wants? But humans don't care about mental health. Cybertronians aren't perfect with this subject, but they are much better than humans.
The problem is, after a few minutes, Jamie starts coughing.
"Shh, it's ok," I wipe her eyes and nose, "you know how much we love you."
It's not my place to tell her that Drift wants to have a baby with her, but there's much to work on.
I grab her water bottle and have her drink as I rub her back, hating the mental pain she's in.
After she drinks a little water, I lie down with Jamie. This also helps her calm down. Though she might fall asleep.

Drift returns soon after Jamie is asleep. I'd rather not tell him what happened, but the evidence remains even after cleaning up Jamie's eyes and nose. Drift sighs and lays next to Jamie. I don't think he cares that I'm watching his hand go under her shirt and rub her abdomen. I quietly leave the tent as tears roll down my face.
I'm sorry I can't help more.

Drift's P.O.V.
I can't stop thinking about how I'm failing my girl. I know it's good that I'm considering how this will not go well, but I also feel like someone else in Jamie's life telling her no.
"Crosshairs?"
I look around to see he's left. That's strange, and it's not like I'm doing anything he doesn't want to see. He doesn't want me to see him hurting, failing to realize that even leaving tells me he can't hide the tears anymore. I don't think either of us will relax and stop thinking about our little lady during this vacation.

Crosshairs isn't back by the time Jamie wakes up an hour later. We clean up the campsite and go back to the house.

Crosshairs isn't in Jamie's room either, but I doubt he returned to our dimension. What's more troubling is how not seeing Crosshairs upsets Jamie. I wasn't expecting that or that she'd cry. I assume Crosshairs left the door to the other room open, considering how quickly he runs into the room and hugs Jamie.
"I'm still here," he assures her before looking at me, concerned.
He knows I said nothing to get Jamie to think that he had left. We know this shows how hurt Jamie is. 
"Time to go home," I suggest.
Crosshairs packs up our stuff while I sit with Jamie.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
This is very concerning. Jamie should know I'd tell Drift, who'd tell her if I went back to our dimension. It's hard seeing her hurt, and her mental health is declining. 

Drift puts out bags in his subspace and takes Jamie to our room when we get to our dimension.
"Are they ok?" Cade asks.
"No," I sigh.
Cade sighs, "what are we going to do? Joyce invited us to his private island. Us, as in Bumblebee, Drift, and Hound. I told him Lightning would want to go, and Lily wants to spend time with Jamie, which would mean the terror twins are coming. Nothing is planned yet."
"Are you ok?"
"Who can be ok knowing how hurt Jamie is and there's nothing we can do?"
Cade looks exhausted.
"How much sleep have you gotten since Friday? Don't tell me you're having nightmares?"
"I can't stop thinking I'll be told not to help her. It's bad enough that you and Drift struggle to make Jamie happy, so what can I do?"
"I don't know, he's feeling like he's horrible to Jamie."
Cade drops the subject and tells me he and Vivian are going to their house in Florida. I tell him the rest of us might just use the ground bridge to get to the house.

I don't make it far before Sunstreaker approaches me. Oddly, he stares at me, but I know he wants to ask even though he knows the answer. 
"Sunstreaker?" I hear Lily.
She runs up to us. Quickly, Sunstreaker takes her hand and leads her away.
It's not like she doesn't know how much Jamie is struggling, Sunstreaker.
This hurts seeing our friends hate how they can't help us. This is why Drift doesn't want to tell them.
I go into the human male's bathroom and cry while hiding in a stall. I am such a failure as a friend.