Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 18 Concerning Lethargy

Drift's P.O.V.
Lightning doesn't know about emotional seizures, and we hope to keep it that way. After Jamie's two-hour nap, Crosshairs, Lightning, and I take her downstairs to the kitchen, and Cogman is already prepared with soup. 
"I have a supply in my subspace," he explains, "so I don't have to worry about taking the supply from house to house."
Cogman admits he made the soup for Jamie, Crosshairs, Lightning, and me, but Cade and Vivian have enjoyed the soup. Glad I found a recipe everyone likes. He likes being prepared, though I mostly give Jamie soup when she's sick. From Jamie's expression, I don't think she likes this scrap. I hope Cogman understands.

Jamie's P.O.V.
I shouldn't be here. Everyone is worried, and they shouldn't be worried about trash. I need to get out of here. After what I tried in December, I'm guarded, and I can only wait for them to be tired of me.
".... yeah, she'll like that," I hear Drift.
I must have phased out. Saying nothing, I eat my soup.

After lunch, Drift carries me to our room. Probably afraid I'll run off rather than liking doing this. Crosshairs comes upstairs with us, but I watch him walk down the hall before Drift closes the door to our room. Even though Drift isn't worried, I don't like it. He sits on the bed, with me sitting on his lap, and hugs me.
"Relax, he'll be back," Drift assures me, "I don't know how to show you how much we love you. Everyone cares about you and worries."

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
This fun afternoon isn't going well. While we figured Jamie would choose to lie on Drift as he's on a float floating around the pool, it's obvious that something troubles him. Many things trouble him, but I think, for now, how do we get Jamie to be happy?
Add that it'll be temporary, but hopefully for months. Maybe it's because we don't want to force Jamie to stay with us, but it isn't great at home. Now the scrap at home is affecting her here. I could keep going back and forth, but it just makes me feel like there's nothing we can do to help her. I hate how I can't help my two friends, who are more like my family and dead, that this isn't going to be easy to deal with within a year or even five. I hope things are better in a year and five years. I know it's bad to think there could be a baby in the picture within maybe five years. This is not a time to think positively like that, but also I'm hoping things get better sooner than in five years.

"You too?" I hear Lightning as she sits beside me, putting her feet in the water.
I nod, "I don't think it's just Drift and us. Everyone is worried and hating there's not much they can do even if they haven't seen everything. Thinking about it all the time isn't helping, but it's hard not to. She even has Cade worried."
It's hard to stop thinking about how much Jamie is hurting and how there's not much we can do.

Time in the pool doesn't last long, though Drift did get in the water while holding Jamie. I can't decide if this is as bad as when she lost Buddy or worse. Drift lies on the lounge chair with Jamie on him and the full body towel like a blanket. However, that won't last for long. I check again if Jamie is getting sick.
Drift looks at me, worried. We knew the vacation wouldn't be all happiness, but we didn't think things would be like this.
Crosshairs: mind if I use a portal to return to base and test blood?
Ratchet: why?!
Crosshairs: this might be nothing, but I'm worried we're seeing early signs of a flare-up. I know why now? I can't explain it, but I don't feel like this is depression.
I take a picture of Jamie and send it to Ratchet.
Ratchet: I see why you worry, but I don't think a blood test will detect anything yet.
Scrap, he still thinks this could be an unusual sign of a flare-up. No one is going to like this, and Cade will panic.
Ratchet: this could be depression getting at her. The things that scumbag soldier said. Either way, I'm sorry the vacation isn't going well.
I thank him for his help and sigh. Drift looks at me, knowing we'll need to talk later. I think we would be, anyway.
Jamie has fallen asleep. Drift takes her up to our room. I'm not following him because I'm sure he will change her clothes.

Hound asks how Jamie is doing. I don't feel any better, as Hound explains how this behavior is normal after a seizure for most. I show him my picture of Jamie and tell him I'm worried, even after all these years, that this is an early sign of a flare-up.
"I'm not sure. I hate to say, for now, we can only watch Jamie."
I worry Jamie is very sick even if she looks ok.

Drift's P.O.V.
Once Jamie and I are dressed, I sit on the rocking chair with Jamie on my lap. Something aside from Jamie's depression is worrying Crosshairs. I see the sadness in Jamie's eyes and remember Ratchet telling me she wants a DNR in her file. All drugs are in our medical capsules that Jamie wouldn't be able to get to without fighting us. I hate how she's afraid to talk.

Hound coming in is a little concerning, but he only looks at Jamie before leaving. I'm tempted to check her vitals myself, but I think she'd put up a fight.

Cade's P.O.V.
I didn't mean to eavesdrop on Crosshairs and Hound's conversation, but now I'm worried. Add how Hound went upstairs after the conversation. He returns within a few minutes, but I'm still worried especially hearing Hound say they can only watch Jamie for now. What is going on with her? I'm questioning if this is tiredness from depression we're seeing. 

Jamie wouldn't eat much dinner. I struggle not to go check on her. Caving in by seven.

"Cade?" Crosshairs asks, standing by the room, "I knew you'd be worried."
"I think now everyone is if they stopped worrying about her."
"I doubt anyone stops worrying even when Jamie is in her dimension," Crosshairs sighs, "I only hope I'm wrong about her lethargy. Not like depression is any better, but...you know. Drift is not going to like hearing we're suspecting an unusual early sign of a flare-up," know the severe ones are rare. However, it'll still suck if Jamie ends up dealing with one. She'll be unconscious for a week. There's always the concern that her condition will get worse, "she'll be ok, Cade."
I watch Crosshairs go into the bedroom, hoping we don't watch Jamie decline and suffer a severe flare-up.

Drift's P.O.V.
Crosshairs, Jamie and I watched T.V. until Jamie oddly fell asleep. Oddly, she is asleep at nine at night. Even Crosshairs worries, going right to scanning the monitor chip.
"Something is troubling you, and I assume, Hound," I comment.
"I don't want to worry you because I could be overthinking, but I worry this lethargy isn't because of depression."
I know what he's thinking. This is not how a flare-up starts, but I see why Crosshairs thinks this is possible.
"I hope not, but we'll be prepared. It'll just kill everyone's mood."