Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 25 It'll Be Hard To Help Her

Optimus Prime's P.O.V.
I had Crosshairs take Jamie, so I could talk to Drift.
"What do you think about all this?" Optimus asks.
"I... I can't answer that, sir. I'd be putting you down."
This isn't like Drift. He'd know this answer is doing what he's hoping to avoid. This is all I need to hear to know how much he's hurting.
It's no secret that Crosshairs hides how he's feeling about this. He eventually cannot hide his feelings, but after he lets them loose, he repeats the cycle of hiding his feelings.
"Jamie will be ok, it'll take time, and I think having her stay here will help. I know it'll be a challenge for a while."
"I don't know. Nothing makes her happy anymore, but if she doesn't feel welcome.."
I think he's trying to talk about his uncertainty and feeling like he failed Jamie simultaneously.
"She'll be ok," I repeat and walk away. Feeling Drift worry the longer he's away from Jamie.
We should consider this a problem, but with how Jamie is, it's not. 

"Damn it, they're supposed to be happy together," Prowl sighs, "and questioning if they could start a family together," Mirage and I couldn't believe what he said "what? It must be true. Considering how long they've been together."
"Drift must be questioning, but not the right question," Mirage points out, "and Jamie's mental health has been a problem since Optimus met Jamie."
"There's got to be something we can do," Sunstreaker interrupts us, "it would be great if we could resolve this in six months, but I worry this is going to be a long challenge."
"I think we need to start small," Prowl points out, "there have been major changes in Jamie's personality the past six months. She's afraid to be around us, not eating much, and almost mute—."
"You forgot the loss of interest in things she enjoys doing," Sunstreaker adds, "and... you know..."
"Damn it; this is scary. I hope we can help Jamie," Mirage worries.
"Can we even help her guardians' mental state? Lightning's?" Prowl adds.
"This is going to be a challenge, and we need to be careful," I repeat.
I hope we can help Jamie. Too soon to think about reaching the point where she'll have a baby, but I hope to see that. For now, it's a secret.
To our surprise, Sunstreaker asks about a half sleepover since Jamie would be down the hall. He knows Crosshairs and Drift will still worry about Jamie though Lily would love this.
"... Sideswipe suggested he has Jamie sleeping on his bed so he can know if she tries to run off," he explains.
"Still a risk, but talk to Crosshairs and Drift first," I tell him.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
Why can't this be easy? Like all I have to do is tell them I'll help as I have been, and it'll be ok? That Jamie's eating habits aren't a problem. That she's doing better mentally? Why can't my family be happy? 

Jamie is asleep within ten minutes. Drift lays with her on the bed, and I suspect he'll be asleep soon. I leave the room, though I know I won't be able to do anything but worry about them.

I run into the terror twins and Lily on my way to the kitchen. Lily wants Jamie to stay in their room tonight. The twins agree with this idea, and the three have a good argument. Sunstreaker even asked Optimus if this was ok. Still, I don't know if it's wise. Drift will probably not agree.

Drift isn't asleep like I thought when I return to our room. He sits on the edge of the bed, looking at his phone. What am I going to do? Take his phone away? He could still access the memories even while using his holoform. I sit next to him and see the photo he's been looking at. Taken in 2018 before Jamie left for another mission and after Lightning finally accepted Jamie as her adopted sister. The last photo before things went downhill.
I sit on the bed and hug Drift. My heart aches to see this picture and knowing how things have gone downhill even while my sister loves Jamie. All I can do is hug Drift.
I bring up the partial sleepover, hoping to get Drift to be ok with others wanting to help us. 
"I don't know..."
He looks at Jamie, worried. This is bad to be uncertain about her sleeping in a room down the hall. Even I'm uncertain.
Crosshairs: you want security duty for a night?
Mirage: one night?
Crosshairs: Lily wants Jamie to stay with her and the twins, but Drift and I aren't sure.
Mirage: very well. Are you sure I shouldn't be by the room every night?
Crosshairs: you know you can't.
Drift is still uncertain but agrees to let Jamie stay with the twins and Lily tonight. I let Mirage know, but it's our secret that he's security.
With that settled, I focus on getting Drift to relax. Ignoring when he asks if I'm ok. Maybe being pissed at me for ignoring the question will help him. He sighs and sits on the rocking chair on the balcony. 

I lay on the bed by Jamie, hoping to figure something out. Wondering if Jamie dreams about what she wants, and thankfully, she doesn't cry, realizing she was only dreaming, or is that my clue to confirm she doesn't dream about what she wants?
"What can I even do to help you?"

Drift couldn't relax and hopes a bath will help. He needs to get back to his meditation but struggles to relax.

Jamie is awake ten minutes later. What worries me is the way she's looking for Drift.
This is unlike when I talked to Optimus before going to our room. This is being frightened by a nightmare.
I move her onto my lap, feeling her trembling as she tightly grips my trench coat. My hand feels her heart racing as it rests on her chest. I don't think her nightmare was only about Drift. She's dreaming we'll both abandon her or even all the Autobots. Words aren't helping at this point, and I doubt a hug is, but this helps calm her down.
"You're going to make me go into the bathroom, aren't you?" Jamie smiles, "oh no, you go in there, but not me."
I try to get her to let go, knowing Drift wouldn't mind having his girl join him in the tub, but Jamie panics. This would be unusual if she didn't just wake up, and I realized that she had a nightmare.
I take Jamie out on the balcony before she cries. Drift needs to relax, but not seeing him is frightening Jamie.

Something happened in her dream that included seeing Drift and me leaving her. She woke up because the dream frightened her. I might tell the terror twins and Lily that plans have changed. There might still be time to get her to relax and be ok in the twins' room.
I didn't think Sunstreaker would walk around the wrap-around balcony. Stopping the second, he sees Jamie and me. He knows to be careful, but with what's frightening Jamie, I don't think it's wise that he asked about staying in his room with Lily and Sideswipe.
"... Lily wants you to stay with us," he explains, "I know, silly, since our room is down the hall."
Sunstreaker doesn't stay long before continuing down the balcony. We'll find out later what Jamie wants to do.