Summer of Sorrow ✅

Ch. 14 What Are They Not Telling Us?

Drift's P.O.V.
Jamie and I woke up ten minutes ago, but she doesn't want to get up. She won't fight me if I pick her up and carry her downstairs, but I try not to do that. Though asking Crosshairs to bring food up isn't any better. Jamie has already had a rough morning, so I'll be "ridiculous," but I need to get Jamie to eat more.
"I didn't mean McDonald's," I laugh.
"She likes it," Crosshairs points out. I see Jamie smiling.
He sits on the other side of Jamie and gets the food out of the bag. 

"Well, she ate a good amount," Crosshairs comments, "I know it's not the best every day," he sighs.
"I hate the feeling that I'm failing her, that we are failing her."
"I know. I've thought, what if we met Jamie sooner? But it's been twelve years, so what could we have done with the extra five years? I hate seeing both of you have no hope things will get better. Lightning feels the same way even though she doesn't know everything. Why does vacation have us thinking about her more than usual?"
"I think it's more like we aren't worried about the scrap she's dealing with at home, so this is taking over rather than a concern only when she cries."
We talk about the plan for the afternoon and ideas for the rest of the vacation. Hoping to make Jamie happy for a while. Considering getting her to stay with us. I feel a little better, even if Jamie is happy. It's always temporary and likely only for a few days before she cries again, but for one reason she cries, I don't know how good staying at the base will be. 

Then I realize it's been a bit of time since Jamie went into the bathroom. 
The door isn't locked, but this could still be bad. Crosshairs wants to break the agreement we made but waits on the bed.

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
We forgot Jamie hurt herself with broken glass in February and know what damage a razor can do. I hear Drift talking calmly and then Jamie crying, scrap. This is hard for us.

Drift carries Jamie out of the bathroom and sits on the bed next to me. Then I realize the look in her eyes; sadness and fear we'll abandon her. I know Drift thinks about what damn humans think about Jamie's mental state. Even her own family. I want to take her pain away. For these two to start a family like they want. What worries me is how long before she has nightmares? Drift and I are happy that she's only having good dreams....at least when we're with her.

Optimus Prime's P.O.V.
I have been waiting for Jamie and her guardians to come downstairs, but it's almost one in the afternoon. The others also worry.
"You better check on them," Prowl insists, "for yourself, not because they can't handle her."

I open the door, seeing the two mechs on the bed, Drift hugging Jamie. Crosshairs spots me and leaves the room.

"She's having a hard day, sir," he tells me, "I'm happy that I can't remember the last time it was this bad. We're failing her."
He tells me he and Drift have regretted not coming to Earth sooner, but they're right, unfortunately. That wouldn't have made a difference. Crosshairs lets himself be vulnerable, hugging me as he cries. I take him to my room for privacy.

"You know everyone wants Jamie to be happy. They'd do everything they could to make her happy or help you and Drift. A few talked about guard duty and were not pleased that nothing is in place."
I find it odd that he's not caring that I'm hugging him, even if this is normal for him and Drift.
Crosshairs takes a few minutes to calm down. Still not caring that I'm seeing this.
"You two can take her home," I tell him.
"No, anywhere we go, she's like this. Even if it's not this bad."
What am I missing? Something tells me it's something that we can't help with. These two wouldn't be secretive like this.
When I suggested Crosshairs go for a walk down the beach, he tells me that Jamie might panic if he's not back as she did yesterday. This is very concerning. What the hell is she dealing with at home? I don't want to force her to stay with us, but even without knowing what's been going on, I don't think things will get better back home for Jamie.

Drift comes by with Jamie. I can tell he's worried about her and Crosshairs. Uncertain what to do to help Jamie and hating how Crosshairs hides how he feels until this happens. I take Jamie from Drift, insisting the two mechs go for a walk even if I'm not able to get Jamie to tell me anything while they're not here.

A few minutes pass before I hear a knock on the door, and Prowl walks in.
"Uh, sorry, sir. I see why you're still up here,"  hr looks at Jamie, worried. I know he's been thinking he needs to spend more time with Jamie, but now isn't a good time, "I'll come back later."
I nod in agreement, and Prowl leaves the room. I move to the couch, though I don't think I'll get Jamie to watch T.V. I see the sadness in her eyes.
She leans on me as I watch T.V.
What can we even do to help her?

Crosshairs and Drift return a half-hour later. Drift takes Jamie out of the room. Crosshairs looks like he wants to say something but leaves the room. I suspect it's another issue, but no one can help them with it. There are only two things I can think of that the two mechs won't tell me and only one that has challenges, even if they tell everyone. The other is concern that I'll tell them no, but I know Jamie has no interest in a wedding. This also makes little sense since Jamie refuses to say she and Drift are together. Believing it'll be easier for him to walk away from her. I feel more sadness knowing the only other possible reason and knowing this is why Jamie has been struggling and why her guardians won't tell me. This won't be easy to deal with even if everyone knew. There's not much even I can do. All anyone can do is try to make her happy, but it sucks that we're only distracting her. I don't think she'll drop this desire.