Ch. 28 A Short Beach Day

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Drift's P.O.V.
With Hound's permission — though he argued we could have decided — Crosshairs and I decide to take Jamie down to the beach and hopefully in the water.
The problem is I need to change the bandages and add a waterproof layer, but the pain relief wore off. I'm not sure how much this will hurt, but hopefully, I timed this right, and the injection I did twenty minutes ago should work. Though I'm torn between thinking no reaction is good and not good. I didn't inject too much of the drug, but she won't feel pain. This is something else. Even Crosshairs has a worried expression.
We're letting the others join us, though this could backfire. I hate hearing Jamie cry, but it's unavoidable at this point.
I still can't believe what Jamie did, looking at her hand until Crosshairs covers it with clean bandages.

Lightning takes Jamie down to the beach.
"I can't believe this," Crosshairs sighs, "I don't know how to explain it."
"She has no interest in anything. We're lucky she'll eat dinner..."
Crosshairs hugs me, and I end up crying. I hate how he hides how much he's hurting, and I'd rather we cry together. We're losing our little lady.
She has no interest in anything. I was hoping to get Jamie to want to play on the beach with Lily for Lily's birthday, but I don't think that will happen. I'm worried we'll need to put a G-tube in, even if that'll have challenges. I shouldn't be thinking about how Jamie wants to have a baby, but this is all connected, even if we've been dealing with a lot of this for years.
"It's going to be hard, but we'll get through this. Our friends will help us."
Crosshairs knows we shouldn't think about Jamie being pregnant right now.

Lightning got Jamie to lie in one of those pool inner tubes though this one has rope. I assume to tie to a boat. Lightning is walking in the shallow water, pulling the tube. Jamie is awake, but I can tell she's thinking about something. Jamie isn't stopping thinking about many things. It's getting harder to distract her.
"Is that a good idea?" Lily asks, "I know Jamie likes swimming, but...."
I look at Crosshairs, worried, and Sunstreaker would know if the events in December traumatized Lily.
"She'll be ok," Crosshairs assures her, "she will not go swimming. The best we've been able to do is Drift holding her while in the water, which is a good sign."

Crosshairs' P.O.V.
Everyone is terrified that we'll deal with something like what we dealt with in December, but I don't like how terrified Lily is. I see why Sunstreaker tries to limit her involvement with Jamie, but he knows Lily wants to be Jamie's friend. I see Sunstreaker watching Jamie, worried, and he spots me staring and approaches us. Though Lily goes into the water.
"You know you can't keep her away from Jamie?" I ask, "remember she wanted to know about Jamie before meeting her? She understood what Jamie deals with."
"And she's frightened that Jamie will be dead," Sunstreaker replies.
"Like she doesn't think that way about you, or likely any of us," Drift points out.
We watch Lily get her own inner tube.
She doesn't have to ask for Lightning to pull her along with Jamie before Lightning gets the rope tied to Lily's inner tube.
"Don't we have bigger floats?" I ask.
"Knowing Cade and Vivian, I want to say yes, but I'll have to check the pool shed," Drift comments and walks away. 
Sunstreaker asks if there's anything he can do to help us. He knows how complicated Jamie is. I regret telling him that Jamie's mental state is scrap that Drift, and I can't guarantee that Jamie will want to do art with him and Lily for an hour.
"That sucks, but I worry about you and Drift. Sideswipe tells me he saw you two last night."
"Drift is terrified that apparently having Jamie in a room down the hall will cause nightmares."

Sunstreaker's P.O.V.
Hearing this, I worry about Drift, and if the nightmares continue, then I worry eventually, Crosshairs will have nightmares, and they'll have a hard time keeping this from Jamie.
"I hate there's not much I can do until Jamie feels ok with other bots."
"I think you, Sideswipe, and Lily will have an easier time spending time with Jamie than the others, but not now."
Though we see Jamie is ok with Lily around her, I get what Crosshairs means. Something like a movie night won't happen for a while.
"Can I kill—?"
"No! That will not help Jamie. I know it's hard to watch this, to not know what to do to help her."
Crosshairs goes from being angry to tears rolling down his face. He can no longer hide his emotions.
I rarely give hugs, even to Lily and Sideswipe. Crosshairs doesn't expect a hug but doesn't pull away. I get him to walk up to the house with me. Stopping by the fence, away from the others.
What can I even say? No one knows how to help Jamie, and I doubt hugs will help either of her guardians for long.
"She'll be ok. Everyone wants to help, and we know it'll take time."
That felt lame. Crosshairs walks towards the house once the hug ends. Things are getting more complicated with Jamie, and it's scary.
Where'd Crosshairs go?" Drift asks.
I point to the house, and Drift walks in that direction. Crosshairs will not like Drift finding out he's been crying, but he needs his friend.
Before I can go anywhere, Lily runs up to me and hugs me. I see Lightning walk by, carrying Jamie. I guess the beach day is over.

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